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Continued from previous page…
JANE
What do you
mean by that?
KATHY
Do you know where
I found this?
JANE
I don’t know. How
am I supposed
to know?
KATHY
Right over here.
Kathy leads
her over to the
spot where she
found the bracelet.
KATHY
Right here by
this chair.
JANE
Just laying on
the ground?
KATHY
Yup. Just layin’ right
here next to this chair.
Buried in the carpet
a little bit.
JANE
How did it
get there?
KATHY
I don’t know, you tell me.
Charlotte loves that bracelet.
Why would she take it off?
JANE
She obviously didn’t take it off.
It must’ve fallen off. When was
the last time she was here?
KATHY
About two months ago.
JANE
And what were you two
doing? Wrestling?
KATHY
Wrestling? Seriously?
Miss Priss, wrestling?
Jane, I could toss her
around like a Nerf Ball.
JANE
Well, I don’t know!
I’m just trying to get to
the bottom of things.
You wanna know what
happened. I’m just trying to
answer your questions!
KATHY
Alright, alright, I’m sorry…
I didn’t mean to jump
all over your case.
JANE
By the way, she doesn’t
know that you call her that
behind her back, does she?
KATHY
What?
Miss Priss?
JANE
Yeah.
KATHY
No… And she’s never
gonna find out…
Is she Jane?
JANE
Hey!
You think I’m gonna
narc you out?!
KATHY
Just see that
you don’t. Please.
JANE
Fine! Whatever.
You still haven’t
answered my question.
KATHY
What?
JANE
What was she doing
here two months ago?
KATHY
She was here at
that party I threw.
JANE
The party you threw?…
You mean, the one
with Henry Winkler?
KATHY
Yes.
JANE
That was, like,
two months ago!
KATHY
Uh, no shit, Jane..
I just said that.
JANE
Jeezus, Kathy, don’t
you ever vacuum
your house?
KATHY
Yes, I vacuum my house!
Just.. not over..
by the chair.
JANE
Well, how do you
think it got there?
Didn’t she tell you it was
missing the next day?
KATHY
No, she didn’t.
That’s the thing!
She must have noticed
it was gone. Why didn’t
she say anything?
JANE
Maybe she thought she
lost it somewhere else?
KATHY
I guess… but still…
why wouldn’t she
at least ask me?
JANE
I don’t know…
That is weird…
How do you think it fell off?
KATHY
Well, if you remember,
we were all dancing like
maniacs.. All of us..
Suffy was crankin’ up
The Ramones pretty good…
Even Charlotte was
dancing… So was Fonzie.
JANE
Boy, he dances like
he’s got hemorrhoids.
KATHY
Well, I think he’s Jewish.
That might explain it…
Did you see him dancing
with Char? I’ll be honest with you—
I think they mighta’ hooked up.
JANE
(doubtful)
Why don’t you call the
National Enquirer, Kath?
I’m sure they’d love to know.
“T.V. Head-Banger Makes It
With The Fonz.” … By the way,
have you noticed none of us
have made the cover lately?
KATHY
I haven’t noticed…
I try not to look when
I’m at the checkout counter.
I just put my groceries on
the conveyor belt and look
the other way. You know,
Jane, it’s entirely possible
that the American public is
growing tired of us. You know
our ratings are slipping.
JANE
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I don’t give a shit about that.
I knew that would
happen eventually… We all did.
You can’t stay on top forever.
I just don’t want us to look
like idiots— ever… And that’s the
risk we run with this show…
You know me. I just want us to
look like real artists all the time.
KATHY
Did you see the cover a
couple of weeks ago?
JANE
The one where Gina
was at The Kremlin telling
secrets to Gorbachev?
KATHY
No, the one where they
accused Belinda of being
an extra-terrestrial. I thought
that was appropriate.
JANE
That’s because Belinda
is an extra-terrestrial. What else
could explain her perfect teeth?
KATHY
Yeah, but they’re not supposed
to know she’s an alien…
Only we’re supposed
to know that.
Copyright 2021
by Clark Wright