18
Continued from previous page…
CHARLOTTE
Oh, I’m weird? Who’s the one
who came up with the idea
of making a flag out of a pencil
and sticking it in my… B.M. ?
Charlotte is continuing
to make Jane giggle
uncontrollably.
JANE
B.M. ?
CHARLOTTE
Yeah, it stands for Bass Masters.
My favorite fishing show.
JANE
(chuckling)
Charlotte, you are too much.
Where do you come up with
this stuff?
CHARLOTTE
I don’t know. I think I’m
possessed by the Devil.
JANE
Did they drop you as a baby?
CHARLOTTE
Yeah, but I bounced right back up
into the nurse’s arms.
JANE
Oh, I get it…
CHARLOTTE and JANE
(together)
… A bouncing, baby girl—
Yay! Rimshot!
JANE
Well, forget about pissing
in Kronwall’s face. Just go
to him anyway. Appeal
to his better half.
CHARLOTTE
His wife?
JANE
No.. him. Tell him it’s just
too much. He likes you.
CHARLOTTE
Yeah, sure, he likes me. And that’s
another thing. Why is it that
everyone around there who likes
me, I’m not interested in.. And everybody
that I like.. doesn’t seem to notice me.
JANE
Whoa, whoa, whoa.. hold the phone.
Did I hear you right? Are
you interested in someone?
CHARLOTTE
(hesitantly)
Yeah, you heard me right.
JANE
Omigod! Hey, first things first, bitch. You
are not allowed to keep secrets like that
from me. You got that?! Now you gotta’
tell me who it is. You already spilled your guts.
CHARLOTTE
You mean you don’t know?
I thought you knew everything?
JANE
I do, I do.. but not this.
Can I guess?
CHARLOTTE
Go ahead.
JANE
Uhhh, let’s see…. Is it Zach?
CHARLOTTE
Werenski?
JANE
Yeah.
CHARLOTTE
Nooo. He never wears the right shirts.
JANE
I know who it is. It’s Jeff, isn’t it?
CHARLOTTE
Joniak? The head writer?
JANE
Yeah. It’s him, isn’t it?
CHARLOTTE
Weeell, actually, I do
kinda’ like him..
But, no, it’s not him.
JANE
Is it someone in
the front office?
CHARLOTTE
(pauses)
Yes.
JANE
Oh, come on, Char, give me a hint.
CHARLOTTE
It’s someone in the front office.
JANE
We’ve already established that!
Nooo! Omigod, don’t tell me it’s Myles?!
Charlotte is silent.
JANE
(gasps)
Huuh!! Charlotte, nooo! Omigod,
he is so freakin’ gorgeous.
It’s him, isn’t it?!
Charlotte stays silent.
JANE
I knew it. I knew it all along.
CHARLOTTE
It took you three guesses!!
JANE
Oh, no, I knew it. Oh, Charlotte, he is a
total babe. What are you gonna do?
Every girl wants him.
CHARLOTTE
What do you mean, what am I gonna do?
What’s that supposed to mean?
Jane knows she
slipped up.
JANE
I’m just sayin’.. there’s a lotta’ competition.
And, isn’t he, like, two years younger than you?
CHARLOTTE
That makes it even better for me…
And I ain’t your normal competition, honey!
I’m the cream of the crop!