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Continued from page 130…
CHARLOTTE
Like I said…
I walked up to him…
And I told him…
“Just so you know… If you
don’t give us the information
that we want… this man here,
is going to do unspeakable
things to your body.”
KATHY
(staring in disbelief)
Wow…
You said that?
CHARLOTTE
(proudly)
Mmm-hmm.
KATHY
Wow, Charlotte!
You are a bad-ass!!!
CHARLOTTE
(cocky-like)
That’s right, I am.
Who’s Miss Priss now, huh?
Don’t fuck with me.
KATHY
(playing along)
I won’t !!
So.. then what happened?
What did he say? … Cuz’
I know this guy.. He’s
kinda’ wimpy.
CHARLOTTE
Well… He said that he knew
who I was… And that he was
hired by someone very close
to me.
KATHY
That was me.
CHARLOTTE
(staring)
Yeah… I know that, Kathy…
Gimme a little credit, here.
KATHY
Okay, okay, sorry.
CHARLOTTE
So, anyway… I asked him,
“What do you know about me?”
KATHY
Wow… That is so bad ass.
CHARLOTTE
Yeah, okay, Kathy, you don’t
have to keep saying that after
everything I say… okay?
I know that I’m a bad-ass.
KATHY
(excitedly)
Okay, okay, go ahead.
CHARLOTTE
Again… I asked him what
he knew about me…
KATHY
Yeah?
CHARLOTTE
And he said that he had a lot
of dirt on me… A lot of illegal
stuff.
KATHY
(amazed)
Wow…
CHARLOTTE
(still playing along)
So, I said, “What stuff?”
Huh.. huh? You like that?
KATHY
(smiling)
I like it. I like it.
CHARLOTTE
Pretty good
stuff, huh?
KATHY
(pleased)
Very good… Yes..
I like it…
CHARLOTTE
I thought ya’ might.
KATHY
Okay.. then what?
CHARLOTTE
(pauses and stares)
You gonna tell me I’m
a bad-ass again?
KATHY
(snaps out of it)
No, no, I’m done
with that.
CHARLOTTE
So.. like I said…
I asked him, “What stuff?”
And he said he couldn’t tell
me because he was bonded
by client privacy.
KATHY
(still amazed)
Really? … Wow, that took
a lot of balls for him to say
that… Considering the
situation.
CHARLOTTE
I know…
So you know what I did?
KATHY
Something bad-ass?
CHARLOTTE
I motioned over to
Rocco with my head.
KATHY
To bring you
a snack?
CHARLOTTE
No…
To get me a
pair of pliers.
KATHY
(mouth agape)
Noooo?!!!!
CHARLOTTE
Yup…
So, Rocco goes over and picks
up a pair of pliers off the table,
and comes back, and grabs the
guy’s hand from behind.
KATHY
From behind?
CHARLOTTE
Yeah, well, his hands were
tied up, ya’ know, behind
the chair.
KATHY
Oh, of course.
CHARLOTTE
Bad ass?
KATHY
Extremely.
CHARLOTTE
And Rocco says to the guy…
“If you don’t start tellin’ us
the information we wanna
hear… I’m gonna start
mangling your little finger.
You got that? So start talkin.”
KATHY
(disturbed)
Ewww, Charlotte! You don’t
have to get all graphic on me.
CHARLOTTE
What?
KATHY
I mean, come on…
We’re the Go-Go’s…
We don’t mangle
little fingers.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, so now you’re
gonna be a wuss
about this?
KATHY
Well, ya’ know…
CHARLOTTE
What happened to me
being a bad-ass? I thought
that’s what you wanted?
KATHY
I do… but in a fun way…
Not.. mangled little fingers…
Leave out the gory details..
Okay?
CHARLOTTE
Fine.
KATHY
(recovering)
Go ahead with the story.
Charlotte rolls her
eyes and shakes
her head.
CHARLOTTE
So.. all of a sudden.. he lets
out this HUGE gasp… and he
starts sucking in wind… and
gasping for air… and there
were all these whistles coming
out of his mouth… and his eyes
started rolling back into his
head, so you could only see the
whites of his eyes…
Kathy is
in shock.
CHARLOTTE
… and he did this for, about,
twenty seconds… and then…
his head slumped over…
and he stopped breathing.
KATHY
Holy shit.
CHARLOTTE
So… Rocco and I just looked
at each other… And we didn’t
know what to do… So… Rocco
untied the guy… and he just
keeled over on the floor and
didn’t move.
KATHY
Dead?
CHARLOTTE
Dead as a doornail.
KATHY
(stunned)
Wow… This is
unbelievable.
CHARLOTTE
Isn’t it?
KATHY
(flabbergasted)
You know.. not to change
the subject… but, was
anyone else there?
CHARLOTTE
Moose was there.
KATHY
(curiously)
Moose? ..
Do I know Moose?
CHARLOTTE
Yeah, you met him once…
He came to one of our
Christmas parties… He
commented on how much
he liked your boots.
KATHY
Oh, yeah!!
I remember him…
He was kinda’ cute…
Has he ever killed anyone?
CHARLOTTE
(sarcastically)
It’s a distinct
possibility.
KATHY
Ooh, maybe I should
get to know him.
CHARLOTTE
I think you’d make
a cute couple. I think
you need a lecherous
goon to match those
sinister eyes of yours.
KATHY
Can he cook?
CHARLOTTE
I don’t know…
But he smells nice.
KATHY
So, did anyone try and
resuscitate my poor
detective?
CHARLOTTE
Well… Rocco slapped him on
the face a coupla’ times… to
try and wake him up…
But he didn’t respond… We
knew he was dead.
KATHY
Poor bastard…
If it wasn’t for me…
CHARLOTTE
He must have had a weak
heart, Kath… He was a fairly
young guy… For him to
drop dead like that.