109
Continued from previous page…
KATHY
Charlotte, there’s more.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, God, you’re kidding?
How can there be more?
KATHY
There just is.
CHARLOTTE
I hope we’re back to something
that you did. Cuz’ if you’re talking
about the eye drops in Kronwall’s
coffee, I know about that, too.
Which reminds me — You gotta’
knock that shit off, Kathy. Not only
are you gonna get our asses fired,
but you’re gonna find yourself in
jail. That’s endangering someone’s
health, you understand that?
KATHY
I didn’t do that !!
That’s just a rumor!
CHARLOTTE
Did Gina?
KATHY
No !! Gina didn’t do it, either!
Neither one of us would do
something like that. Come on!
CHARLOTTE
I’m not so sure about that. You
two are the biggest, fucking, little
kids I’ve ever seen in my life. Why
would that be any different?
KATHY
Because it just is, okay?
We wouldn’t do something
like that.
CHARLOTTE
Okay, so what is it?
KATHY
It’s about your.. body-double.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, God, what has she done now?
Isn’t it bad enough she’s stealing
all our money?
KATHY
It’s a lotta’ things.
CHARLOTTE
Alright.. so what did she do?
Sleep with Governor Deukmejian?
Cuz’ that would end my career
real quick, wouldn’t it? That
sounds like something that
psychopath would do.
KATHY
No… But she did sleep
with someone.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, really? Who?
KATHY
Jeff.
CHARLOTTE
Jeff ?!!! My Jeff ?!!!
She slept with my Jeff ?!!
Kathy suddenly remembers
that Fake Charlotte told her
that Jeff might actually be
more interested in her than
the real Charlotte.
KATHY
Well.. I wouldn’t exactly call
him your Jeff… I mean.. it’s
not like you two are married,
or anything like that.. I mean…
CHARLOTTE
(staring intensely)
No.. no.. He’s my Jeff, you got
that? He likes me. And only me.
KATHY
Okay, okay.. If you say so..
I was just…
CHARLOTTE
(inquisitively)
Are you trying to imply
something, Kath?
KATHY
No! No! I was just… Look..
Let’s forget the whole thing, okay?
I’m sorry I even brought it up.
CHARLOTTE
Well, I’m glad you did. I need to
know these things… So when I
finally come face-to-face with this
bitch.. I’ll have extra incentive to
wanna kill her.
KATHY
You won’t need extra incentive,
believe me.
CHARLOTTE
(gasps)
Huhh! I just thought
of something!
KATHY
What?
CHARLOTTE
Sleeping with Jeff… What if this
chick… didn’t… you know…?
KATHY
What? Give him a decent
knob diddle?
CHARLOTTE
(flabbergasted)
Really? Kathy? You’re gonna
go down that road again? Really?
KATHY
Well, if you’re worried that she was
representing your expertise in the
sack.. I could see you being worried
about that.
CHARLOTTE
(still flabbergasted)
No, Kathy, I wasn’t worried about
that… I was worried that she wasn’t…
you know… pungent…
KATHY
Pungent?! Char, I think you got
the wrong word… Pungent is what
you don’t want her to be.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, yeah… What did I say?
KATHY
You said “pungent”… I think
you meant “fragrant.”
CHARLOTTE
(embarrassed)
Oh.. right.. fragrant..
That’s what I meant.
KATHY
Look.. from what I can tell about this
chick, she’s a major slut… So if
she was a little fishy down there..
I wouldn’t be surprised.
CHARLOTTE
Poor Jeff… Should we be
talkin’ about this?
KATHY
Talkin’ about what?
Blowjobs and shtanky pussy?
CHARLOTTE
Yeah.
KATHY
You mean.. different from
what we always talk about?
CHARLOTTE
I’m just thinkin’… Maybe
they’re recording us… Maybe
they got this room bugged.
KATHY
I could give a flying fuck if
they do.. Hey, everybody !!!
You wanna hear me and
Charlotte talk about dirty shit?!!!
CHARLOTTE
Ssshhh !! Keep your
voice down !!
KATHY
Oh, who cares? We couldn’t
be in a worse situation.
CHARLOTTE
(exasperated)
I can’t believe this… This is
so fucked up… How do you
know she slept with Jeff?
KATHY
Cuz’ she told me. That
night in your office.
CHARLOTTE
You mean.. she just
blurted it out?
KATHY
No, not exactly… We were talkin’
about something, I don’t know..
and it just came out… It was when
she had me cornered.. When she
had a gun on me.
CHARLOTTE
When did she sleep with him?
Do you know?
KATHY
I believe it was the night before
we all went out to the mansion.
About a month ago… I mean, not
me.. I had some shit to do.. I
didn’t show up until the weekend.
CHARLOTTE
Where did this take place?
KATHY
Right in your office.
CHARLOTTE
She fucked him right
in my office?!!
KATHY
Well, I don’t know !!
I wasn’t there !!
I wasn’t watching !!
Although.. I wish I was..
Ya’ know.. I’m kinda’
into that…
CHARLOTTE
Kathy !!!
KATHY
I don’t know, Charlotte!
I’m assuming she took
him into your apartment.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, this is disgusting!
I am gonna puke!
This chick is fucking people
in my apartment…
In my bed!