80
Continued from previous page…
GINA
Wait a minute, hold on here…
We’re not thinking this thing
through.
Everyone turns
to look at Gina.
GINA
Are we all on
dope, or what?
Everyone nods
their heads
and mutters
“sometimes”
“yeah.”
GINA
Why am I the only
sane person in the room
on most occasions?
CHARLOTTE
Well, that’s always
been debatable, Gina…
We just never had the
heart to tell ya.’
GINA
Well, forget it, Charlotte.
We’re not doing it.
CHARLOTTE
And why not?
GINA
Because there’s holes in
your plan, that’s why.
BELINDA
There’s holes
in her head.
CHARLOTTE
What do you mean?
GINA
Well, for starters…
What if he came here
with someone else? …
Ever think of that?
JANE
(gasps)
Huh!! That’s right!
And if he came here with
someone else… that means
that person will be
looking for him…
Right, Gina?
GINA
Very good, Jane.
Now what?
JANE
(acting like a sleuth)
I think there may be more
to this sordid affair than
meets the eye…
Wouldn’t you agree, Belinda?
BELINDA
No, not really.
Jane gives
Belinda the “look.”
BELINDA
I think we’re screwed
and that’s all there
is to it.
JANE
Maybe not.
Jane begins to
walk around the
end of the bed
and towards the
deceased Mr. Khudobin.
She grabs the ends
of the sheets and
starts to lift them up.
KATHY
Jane, what the hell
are you doing?
JANE
I just want to make sure
he’s completely naked.
KATHY
What does that have
to do with anything?!
Are you crazy?
JANE
Hey, he’s dead, I’m not.
Jane lifts up
the sheets and
peers at the man’s
bottom half as if
she’s looking for
something
in particular.
CHARLOTTE
Jane, put the sheets down!
What the hell are you
looking for?
JANE
Clues.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, clues, my ass!!
You just want to
look at his cock!
JANE
Partly.
KATHY
Partly?
Partly what?
JANE
I also want to see if
he has sexy legs.
Everybody groans
and rolls their eyes.
Jane ignores everyone
and continues to look.
CHARLOTTE
Well?…
Are you gonna
keep us in suspense?!
JANE
Hmmm…
BELINDA
Yeah?!
JANE
I think I see
something.
CHARLOTTE
What is it?
JANE
I think I see
Richard Nixon.
GINA
You always see
Richard Nixon.
JANE
I know…
My dad was a big fan…
Hey, Gina… come over
here and check this out.
Gina walks over
to where Jane
is standing as if
nothing is wrong
with this scenario.
Everyone else is
stupefied.
GINA
What?
What is it?
JANE
Take a look.
Gina peers
under the
sheets.
GINA
Oh, yeah…
I see what you mean.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, will you two perverts
knock it off!!
GINA
Hey, Belinda?
BELINDA
(starting to become amused)
What?!
GINA
It looks like rigor mortis set in
right after he croaked…
You ever fuck a corpse?
Belinda continues
to stare at Gina.
She’s about ready
to burst.
GINA
I mean— I know you’ve
done some kinky shit
in your life… But this
might be a first for you.
Now, it should be noted, that when it comes to outrageousness, the Go-Go’s have obviously been connected to each other by some cosmic, comedic force from the very moment they formed the band. And this has nothing to do with their silly T.V. show. After all, they’re all women; It’s a part of their karma. When it comes time to laugh— no matter how dire the situation— it’s time to laugh. That’s all there is to it. They all feel it.
And so, in response to Gina’s extremely crude suggestion that Belinda perform an act of necrophilia, the whole room stares at Belinda in blithe anticipation waiting for her to burst. Even Kathy, who was in pretty poor spirits throughout this whole ordeal, is now grinning from ear to ear as she looks in Belinda’s direction. You’re not gonna keep that wholesome bitch down for very long.
Belinda bursts into laughter.
An avalanche of laughs follow.
CHARLOTTE
Gina, I can’t believe
you said that.
GINA
Hey, that’s my job, man…
I’m the drummer, remember?
After the
hysterics
settle down…
CHARLOTTE
Oh, my God…
What are we
gonna do?
GINA
Well, we can’t go along with
your plan, Charlotte, that’s for
sure… Besides.. there’s more
than one hole.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, jeez, there’s more?
GINA
Hell, yeah!
What about the chauffeurs?!
It doesn’t matter if he came here
with somebody else… If someone knew
that he was at the party, the cops
are gonna wanna question the
chauffeurs… Thanks to your own,
paranoid rules, Char.. everyone who
comes here.. has to be taken OUT by
the limo service, remember?
Copyright 2021
by Clark Wright