181
Continued from previous page…
Joey Polniaczek sliced into his 10 oz. filet mignon with slow precision. He proceeded to hold the cut piece of meat in his right hand and examined the beautifully tender, forked morsel for several seconds, contemplating on how delicious the beef was, along with his entire meal. He chewed the meat slowly, savoring every moment, before following it up with successive gulps of his iced Coca-Cola. As he wiped off his mouth with his clothed napkin, he casually turned his head to the left in order to see the activity at the bar. Sure enough, Jennifer Ju-Ju-Bee and Barclay Goodrow were still engaged in heavy, flirtatious conversation. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as he thought about Charlotte and her Machiavellian maneuvers, as well as her meticulous choice for the bait. Jennifer was cute and innocent-looking, a perfect troll for the average, amorous, American male.
Even if he was a vigilant, mindful multi-millionaire.
As Joey sat there thinking about the entire seedy scene, he abruptly realized that it was time to continue on with his negotiated obligation. Underneath a separate napkin lied his hidden camera. A small, rectangular shaped do-dad that had no flash and made very little sound when the picture was snapped.
It was one of those cameras you see in spy movies, so I really don’t know if they exist or not.
After taking the picture, Joey decided he had taken enough and it was now time to call Charlotte and update her on the current situation. He took one, last forkful of his asparagus, then motioned for the waitress to come over to his table.
“Miss, I’m going to go make a phone call, then I’ll be back to finish up,” he said.
“Would you like me to keep it warm in the oven for you?” she asked.
“No, that’s alright,” he informed her. “I won’t be that long.”
“Okay, take your time,” she said, as she scurried away.
Charlotte was sitting in the studio of her Malibu home trying to be artistically creative on this windy, Friday evening. She had laid down a series of chords on her piano and was now listening back to them from the tape deck hoping to be inspired. As she listened to the augmented notes, she closed her eyes and began humming softly to herself. Even the volume of her humming was critical to the process, as she tried to breath rhythmically with everything that surrounded her.
Then it happened.
As with many songwriters, she felt a melody come to her head.
She could feel the tingle of excitement as she repeated the sounds aloud, over and over, before grabbing the microphone and bolting towards the tape deck.
Then it happened again.
As she tried to ignite the second track, the play button got stuck and she panicked.
She lost it.
“OH, SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!” she screamed, almost throwing the microphone to the floor. “I had it!!! I had it!!! Fuckin-aye, I had it!!
Charlotte proceeded to pace the room in a fit of anger, all the while talking to herself at the fickle finger of fate that befell her. She slammed down the stop button on the original track.
“Shit!! I’ll never get that back,” she bemoaned. “There’s no point in even trying… That’s what I get for trying to record alone.”
Although she had successfully recorded alone many times, she was only saying these things to herself in order to feel better about what had just happened. It was a self-pity, knee-jerk reaction.
Charlotte sat back down in the chair and stared-off towards the wall. She drummed her fingers with both hands on her face and her knees trying to decide what to do next.
Luckily, her indecisiveness was rewarded by the phone ringing. She no longer had a choice in the matter.
As she looked towards the desk, she discovered that it was not her main line that was ringing.
It was her secret Bat Phone.
Only special people that knew her true identity as a crime fighting musician had access to that number.
One of them was Joey Polniaczek, and she was awaiting his call.
She picked up the phone and answered—
CHARLOTTE
Hello?
JOEY
Hey, darlin,
it’s me.
CHARLOTTE
Well, well, Joseph,
my dear. How are you?
JOEY
I’m just fine, sweetcakes.
And how are you on this
delightfully wicked evening?
CHARLOTTE
Well.. to be perfectly honest
with you.. I’m a little
frustrated at the moment…
JOEY
Oh, how so?
CHARLOTTE
Oh, just a little.. creative
writer’s block.. Nothing
serious.. Nothing I haven’t
been through before.
JOEY
Well, I’m sorry
to hear that.
CHARLOTTE
Ah, nothing for you to
worry about.. I hear
noise in the background.
Am I to assume that
you’re calling from our
designated surveillance
post?
JOEY
I most certainly am.
CHARLOTTE
And how’s everything
going down on The
Sunset Grill? How’s
your meal?
JOEY
Oh, very good..
Tres delicieux.
CHARLOTTE
Well, well..
Je suis content
d’entendre ca.
JOEY
(pauses)
Uh, yeah, sure..
Whatever you said.
Charlotte
giggles.
CHARLOTTE
And how is our
subject coming along?
JOEY
Our subject is doing fine.
From what I can tell,
anyway.
CHARLOTTE
Is she engaged with
said target?
JOEY
She is indeed..
And I must say, she
looks like she’s having a
good time, too.
CHARLOTTE
Ohh, good, good.
Excellent.. Have you
taken some incriminating
pictures already.
JOEY
All locked up and
ready to go.
CHARLOTTE
Wonderful..
Kinda’ different from
the normal assignments
I give you, huh?
JOEY
Yeah, I gotta’ say, boss,
this is a lot different from
taking photographs of you…
A much different assignment…
Although I have to admit,
taking pictures of you is much
more enjoyable.. You being
so pretty and all.
CHARLOTTE
Awe.. aren’t you sweet
and complementary…
But that won’t get you a
raise, my dear.
They both
laugh.
JOEY
That’s not what I
was shooting for.
You know that.
They laugh again
at his play-on-words.
CHARLOTTE
Now, you know I want
video recordings after
this, right? Video taped
evidence is so much more
incriminating.
JOEY
I have the camcorder
sitting on the passenger
seat of my car as we speak.
All loaded up and ready
to roll. I won’t have to be
as conspicuous from the
privacy of my car.
CHARLOTTE
Outstanding.
JOEY
I sure hope your plan
works, Charlotte…
Any chance you’d like to
tell me what it is?
CHARLOTTE
Oh, ho, ho, not a
chance fella’ …
I trust you taking
pictures of me playing
on stage and such..
But, when it comes to my
financial business.. that’s
where I draw the line.
JOEY
(persistently)
Not even a hint?
CHARLOTTE
(reluctantly)
Weeell, let’s just say…
If everything goes
according to my plan..
My May Futures Contracts
will pay off handsomely.
Luckily for Charlotte,
Joey has no idea what
that means, because
she pretty much told
him everything.
JOEY
I’m afraid I don’t
get it, Char.
CHARLOTTE
Good..
You don’t need to.
JOEY
Well, I’d better get back
in there. I don’t want my
dinner to get cold.. You know..
this Jennifer girl is pretty
young… I sure hope she can
handle her liquor… That might
screw things up.
Charlotte
realizes this.
CHARLOTTE
Yeah, yeah, good point…
Look.. go in there and keep
an eye on her… And if she looks
plowed when she comes out,
I want you to call me immediately,
you got that?
JOEY
(serious)
Yeah, I got it.
CHARLOTTE
Cuz, if she’s all hammered
and shit.. and he takes her to
a hotel.. Or, God forbid, she
tries to drive her car by herself,
I want you to intervene and stop
her, okay?
JOEY
You got it, Chief.
CHARLOTTE
She is my responsibility for doing
this for me… And if anything
happens to that sweet girl.. I’ll
never be able to live with myself..
You got that?
JOEY
I’m on it…
There’s only one thing
I don’t understand.
CHARLOTTE
What’s that?
JOEY
Is she supposed to
sleep with the guy?
CHARLOTTE
No, she’s not!
The hotel itself is supposed
to be enough evidence…
She’s supposed to blow him
off once they get there.
JOEY
Blow him off?
Charlotte, do you realize
what you just said?
CHARLOTTE
That’s not funny, motherfucker!!
I’m serious about this!
JOEY
I know, I know, I’m sorry..
That was a bad joke.
CHARLOTTE
So, just get in there and
take care of business… And
you know what? Call me regardless
of what happens. I don’t care if
she looks drunk or not. I changed
my mind.. I wanna know where she
goes from the restaurant.
You got that?
JOEY
I’ll call you immediately.
CHARLOTTE
Thank you..
Goodbye.