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Continued from previous page…
Kathy strolled down her stone pathway towards the front gate with a strange sort of confidence in her walk. It was almost as if she were on her way to meet a new, prospective lover awaiting her at the entranceway of her magnificent, Victorian mansion. As this was certainly not the case, her attention and her facial expression became transfused with a mixture of gravity and playfulness upon seeing the squad car parked just outside the iron fortress. As she approached the gate, she managed to crack a wry smile as she recognized the main constable that stood stoically with his hands placed together in a authoritative manner.
“Well, well, well… if it isn’t Deputy Slaggart,” she began. “I didn’t recognize you without your pistol pulled out of your pants.”
“Hello, Kathy.. I see we meet again… I hope you’ve been staying out of trouble,” he returned.
“Actually.. Unfortunately.. I have been,” she teased. “I’m sure you’re quite aware that I can’t say the same for a couple of my.. naughty, little band members… I get the eerie feeling that that’s why you’ve come to visit me on this joyful, holistic evening… It’s too bad you didn’t drop by for an unofficial visit… I can think of a couple of things we can do with those handcuffs of yours.”
Kathy always loved to jerk around authoritative figures. In the early days, it was teachers and principals and cops. Eventually, as she entered the world of show-business, it became studio executives in suits and ties. The latter, however, bringing much more serious consequences than the former, considering it was how she earned a living. In time, she learned how to reign it in with those unflappable automatons.
“Ohhh, you are always so amusing, Kathy,” said the Deputy. “I seem to remember a time, though, when you didn’t seem so amused as you were being arrested… Luckily for you.. I don’t think we’ll be slappin’ the cuffs, anytime soon, on you tonight… Unless, of course.. like you said… you want me to come back after my shift is over.”
The two of them smiled at each other and let out one of those fake, subtle harumphs before moving on to the next phase of the conversation.
“Nooo.. I think it’s better that you just go home to your lovely wife and kids,” said Kathy. “We wouldn’t want you to miss out on any of that cold spaghetti she probably cooked for the ‘fam’ tonight.. Second shift is such a bitch, isn’t it?”
Although Deputy Slaggart actually had no intentions of engaging in sado-masochistic sex games with the playful pluckster, he did appear to be offended by Kathy’s sarcastic dismissal of his erotic offer. After all, she was the one who originally brought it up. He also was not exactly thrilled with her bringing his wife and kids into the jocular discussion. In his mind, she went a little too far with that last comment.
“I hope you’re alone tonight,” he said with obvious duality. He was pretty sure that Kathy would not let on that she was indeed harboring a couple of fugitives in her home. He knew she was not that gullible. At the same time, Kathy was instantly reminded by his insinuation that Belinda was missing. The image of the dangling phone danced in her head. She had to take a couple of seconds to regain her composure.
“Oh, well, of course, I’m alone tonight, Deputy… You know.. I’m assuming by your disposition.. that you don’t have a warrant to search my house,” Kathy mocked. “In which case, I’m afraid I can’t let you in.. The place is such a mess.. And I don’t have any donuts to offer you.”
Deputy Slaggart stared at Kathy for a few moments. She was getting a little ahead of herself in the sarcasm game.
“No… I don’t have a warrant,” he paused. “The Sheriff just thought I might have some luck if I just dropped by… He thought you might be willing to cooperate… Concealing information, on purpose.. can be a crime in itself, Kathy.. In some instances.”
Kathy didn’t know what to say. Deputy Slaggart’s ploy did, in fact, work for the time being. Her silence was telling.
“I’m sure the citizens of Los Angeles would love to know how well their tax dollars are being spent,” Kathy opined in a monotonous tone. In Slaggart’s mind, she was now practically giving herself away.
“Chasing down a couple of harmless women when there are real criminals out running around,” she continued before her dramatic pause. “Or is this more of a political thing? I know that reelection time is coming up… Hey.. Apprehending an escapee from a minimum security mental hospital might not sound like cracking The Zodiac case… But Gina and Belinda are a couple of celebrities, aren’t they? Just the publicity alone is a good thing, right?”
Deputy Slaggart had heard enough.
“Where are they, Kathy?”
“I’m afraid I don’t know that, sir… You’ll just have to check The Hollywood Bowl… We’re scheduled to perform there in a couple of months… Maybe they’re down there setting up already… We’ve lost almost all of our roadies since the show got cancelled… Belinda and Gina are great at pitching in.”
Deputy Slaggart folded his arms in defiance and nodded his head slowly up and down.
“You disappoint me, Miss Valentine,” he concluded. “Be extra careful the next time you jaywalk… Have a nice evening.”
Deputy Slaggart got into his squad car and started up the engine. He stared at Kathy as he put the gearshift into reverse and backed out of the driveway. Kathy placed her hands on the iron bars and almost stuck her face in between them. She watched him intently as he placed the shifter into ‘drive’ and roared off.
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE HOUSE…
Gina and Jane were frantically pacing back and forth in the east wing living room, occasionally gnawing at their fingernails and taking gulps of their cocktails in order to calm their nerves. Not only was Kathy talking to the local 5-O, but Belinda was mysteriously missing from view, and nothing could cool the savage beast of anxiety. Gina had actually considered making a run for it as well, but realized that she would have to face the music eventually, and delaying the problem was not the answer. Because of this, she almost considered walking out to the front gate and turning herself in, but couldn’t muster-up the courage to do so. Her brazen attitude in the car on the way over had become much more solemn in the last hour or so. She knew now that she had broken some relatively serious laws and offences and that the court would probably have no mercy on her and her pocketbook. Just like Belinda had told her in the car— “You’re a celebrity, they’re gonna throw the book at you.”
But, all the while their nerves were being worn to a frazzle, Gina and Jane could hear the front door open and close. Within seconds, Kathy appeared in the picture looking fresh as a daisy. Apparently, something had gone very well outside in order for her to look this way. In Jane’s mind, perhaps Kathy had received an accommodation of some sort instead of an interrogation.
“What the fuck?” Gina spilled out. “What happened?”
“Everything’s cool,” answered Kathy. Before anyone else could speak, she spoke abruptly— “Hey, you’ll never guess who that was?!”
Her question was directed towards Gina.
“Who?”
“That was Deputy Slaggart!”
Gina’s face became scrunched up with uncertainty.
“Remember? When I got busted for Disorderly Conduct a coupla’ years ago? He was the one who ultimately took me in.”
“I wasn’t there,” Gina reminded her.
“Yeah, I know you weren’t there.. But you remember the incident, don’t you?’
“Vaguely.”
“Well, anyway.. that dumb palooka didn’t even have a warrant to come in here… So I told him to buzz off.”
“You didn’t say that,” doubted Jane.
“Well, no, Jane, I didn’t say that directly… But he got the message… I told him I didn’t know anything.. and he drove off.”
Gina and Jane looked at each other with diffident scrutiny. This was all too much for them to absorb at the moment. With Belinda missing, Kathy’s attitude, albeit reflective of her nature, was just too casual for the two of them to accept. They were expecting a tad more exigency in her voice.
Jane decided to address Kathy’s lack of urgency directly. She spoke defiantly—
“What about Belinda?”
Kathy didn’t answer right away. She decided to let Jane’s paranoia sink in a little bit. She was smug and content with her current temperament. With this wave of confidence swirling throughout her body, Kathy brushed right past the two of them and headed towards the kitchen.
“She’s here somewhere,” she boasted.
“What makes you so sure?” asked Jane, trailing after her.
Kathy stopped and whirled around.
“Because she left this house once already and almost got eaten by a pack of dogs.. You think she’s gonna try that again?”
Jane begrudgingly accepted this and continued to trail after Kathy.
“Belinda, where are you?!!” Kathy called out.
After a couple of seconds of silence, Gina came to a conclusion—
“She’s not here, I’m tellin’ ya.”
Kathy waited another couple of seconds and called out again.
“Belinda, come on!! Where are you?!”
Suddenly, the three of them heard a noise coming from the back utility room. They all looked at each other briefly, then made a B-Line towards the area where the noise was coming from. As they entered the utility room, Kathy called out once more.
“Belinda? Is that you?!”
Without hesitation, the door to the clothes dryer popped open.
Belinda crawled out and brushed herself off. As happened so many times in their real lives, the four of them could practically hear the studio audience cracking-up in the background. Their personal lives would forever be tied to that television show they spent so many of their formative years being a part of.
“Hey, guys… What’s up?” said Belinda with perfect timing.
“Belinda.. what the fuck is wrong with you?” asked Jane.
Kathy started laughing.
“I feel like going to an amusement park,” Gina remarked.
Jane turned to look at her in amazement.
“What?!!”
“Yeah.. that reminds me of that one ride where you spin around and get stuck up against the wall,” said Gina. “You know? Centrifugal force.”
Jane’s mouth continued to hang open with disbelief.
But not Kathy. She recognized the utter hilarity of the situation and continued to laugh heartily. Her laugh made the scene that much more amusing as everyone else kept a straight face. Especially Belinda, who continued to look dumbfounded. As if— “What are you guys so surprised about?”
After waiting for Kathy to inhale and pause, Gina jumped at the break in the action like the well-trained actress that she was to speak her next thought.
“Couldn’t you just hide in the closet like everybody else?” she asked.
Ooooh. What a perfect opportunity for Belinda! Her brain instantly sized-up what Gina had just said and gracefully articulated what everyone in the room had already been thinking about for years.
“No, Gina.. the closet is for you… And everyone in the world has been waiting for you to come out of it since the beginning of time.”
And with that, Belinda walked right past the three of them, turned the corner, and walked out of sight.
Aaaaand— SCENE.
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