156
Continued from previous page…
JANE
You mean, you don’t
know why? I thought
you were an emerging
hotshot in the corporation?
KATHY
Well.. I am, I guess..
I mean, I’m learning
everyday.. about different
things.
JANE
About oil?
KATHY
That’s a longshot.
JANE
I can’t believe you told
me that.. What in the world
are you two getting mixed
up in the oil business for?
KATHY
It’s a longshot, Jane..
The licensing, the start-up
costs, the government
bureaucracy, the acquisition
of land… It’s a bitch.
JANE
Listen to you..
You love this, don’t you?
KATHY
I have to admit..
It is kinda’ fun.
JANE
I’m never gonna write
songs with Charlotte ever
again, am I? …
I mean, she’s outta’ her
mind with this business
stuff.
They both
realize what
Jane just said.
KATHY
She’s gonna be alright.
JANE
Oh, is she? …
That sounds pretty serious
what you just told me.
KATHY
I just… I just have faith
in the medical community,
that’s all… I mean, what
else do we have to go by?
I’m sure they know what
they’re doing.
JANE
They don’t know shit…
Especially in the mental
health department…
Believe me, I know.
Kathy is
cautious about
broaching such
a sensitive
issue.
KATHY
What have they been
doing for you lately?
JANE
Nothing.. Same old garbage…
They just feed me a bunch
of drugs and tell me to
keep seeing my shrink…
They don’t even know
what I got… They don’t know
how to describe it.
KATHY
(cautiously)
Are you still seeing
your psychiatrist?
JANE
No..
I haven’t seen her in months…
I get tired of saying the same
old stuff over and over..
and nothing ever gets accomplished.
KATHY
(pauses)
I could see that.
JANE
It’s bullshit, ya’ know?
They just keep stringing me
along… so they can keep
billing my insurance company..
And in the meantime, I don’t
get any better.
Kathy is at
a loss for
words.
KATHY
How do you
feel today?
JANE
(unemotionally)
I feel fine today…
Especially now.
Kathy is
curious.
JANE
I think I feel better now
because you’re telling me
about someone who is
more fucked-up than I am.
Laughter
eases tension.
JANE
This is unbelievable..
I can’t believe our lives…
How did it come to this?
KATHY
I know…
Didn’t we used to just
dance around on stage?
Life was so much simpler
back then.
They both
take a while
to let this all
soak in.
KATHY
I’m so glad the
show’s over.
JANE
Oh, God, I know…
Could you imagine if we
had to deal with another
season of that nonsense?
I swear, I’d walk out on
my contract right on the spot.
KATHY
So would I.
JANE
How has Charlotte dealt with
the show all this time? I mean,
how can she get into character
when she’s literally out of
character half the time?
KATHY
I don’t know…
I guess she just sucks it up
and acts like a professional.
JANE
That seems pretty hard
to do.. considering.
KATHY
You got me…
She’s a pretty amazing woman
once you get to know her.
JANE
Once I get to know her?
KATHY
You know what I mean.
Jane pauses.
JANE
How long has she
had this, Kath?
KATHY
To be honest with ya..
I think it was the moment
she met Belinda.
JANE
Oh, Kathy, stop it…
You are so mean to Belinda
behind her back sometimes,
I swear.
KATHY
(laughing)
I’m sorry..
I couldn’t help it.
JANE
Seriously.
KATHY
I don’t know..
Seriously, I don’t.
JANE
You mean, you
didn’t discuss it?
KATHY
No.. not that part…
She just told me about it.. and..
that was it… I was so freaked-out
by what she said.. that.. I didn’t
want to pursue the subject any
further… I just.. basically said
I was sorry and that was it.
JANE
I can’t believe that.
KATHY
Well, it’s true…
Believe me, Jane.. when
someone tells you they’ve just
become the rock and roll
version of Sybil.. you do an
awful lot of soul-searching in
the next several seconds.
You know what I mean?
There’s not exactly a lot of time
to think about your next
question.. You just sort of stare
off into space.. in shock… To
tell ya’ the truth, I just wanted
to get the hell outta’ there.
JANE
Ohhh, Kathy, come on.
She’s your sister. You
gotta’ help her.
KATHY
Not at that
moment, she wasn’t.
JANE
You’re terrible.
KATHY
Hey! I thought I was talkin’
to some kind of a demon or
something, I don’t know!
I’m not an expert on this
subject… For all I knew..
she was gonna start.. spitting
out green-pea soup all over
the place… I was scared, Jane.
JANE
(laughing)
You’re impossible.
KATHY
Well, what would
you have done?
JANE
I would have
helped her.
KATHY
(sarcastically)
Oh, you would
have helped her.
JANE
Yes, I would.
KATHY
And what would you have
done, Jane? Huh? Whipped out
your little bible and your holy
water and started canonizing—
“The power of the D-Chord shall
compel you!!! The power of the
D-Chord shall compel you!!!
JANE
(in hysterics)
Will you stop it?!!
KATHY
The power of the Mellotrons
will compel you!!!
JANE
KATHY, STOP IT!!!
Kathy waits
for Jane to
stop laughing.
KATHY
Well, am I right?
JANE
I suppose…
But I still would
have helped her.
KATHY
How?
JANE
I would have
consoled her.
KATHY
I did console her.
JANE
It doesn’t sound
like it.
KATHY
Well, I did.
And it didn’t seem
to matter.
JANE
What do you mean?
KATHY
It was terrifying, Jane..
She changed into her other
personality right in front
of me.
JANE
(gasps)
Noooo?!!
KATHY
Yes..
I didn’t know what to do..
I was almost shittin’ in
my pants.
JANE
What did you do?
KATHY
I held it in.
JANE
(disgusted)
Kathy…
KATHY
Well, what could I do?
I just stood there
frozen solid.
JANE
(astounded)
Wooow…
I’m sorry… I didn’t
know it was that hairy.
KATHY
Well, it was…
I’m tellin’ ya, Jane..
when someone transforms
into another person right in
front of you.. that really puts
things in a whole other
perspective… That was like—
the fifth scariest thing that
ever happened to me.
JANE
The fifth scariest?
KATHY
Well, you have to understand.
This is me you’re talkin’ to.