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“Why don’t we go upstairs and find you the proper apparel to put on,” said Kathy as if she were talking to a child. “Then we’ll take care of that other little problem you’ve got. Okay, honey… I know how you’ve been cooped-up all this time.. and I know how your psychotic, Carlisle brain works.. But don’t worry.. Mommy will make you feel all better. I promise.”
As usual, Kathy’s sarcastic attitude only continued to add to the enlightenment that was already permeating throughout the kitchen. There was something about the four of them being together in the same room that made everything seem alright. It was an innate sense of security. In their minds, as long as they were together, no element or outside force in the world could harm them. Trouble was nothing more than a mere pittance of annoyance. As much as they rarely wanted to admit it to each other, they loved being in each others company. After Kathy failed in her attempted spanking, she once again extended her arm in order to guide Belinda in the proper direction. Belinda feigned a vanquished expression towards her whip-less dominatrix, and took off towards the upstairs. All was good in Go-Go Land.
“No hanky-panky while you two are up there,” ordered Jane. “I know you haven’t had that in a while, either.”
Belinda rolled her eyes in disgust, while Kathy continued to smile at the image she had fabricated.
“I’m a married woman, Jane.. I don’t cheat on my husband,” she explained in a deadpan manner.
“Ehhh, it’s not really cheating if you think about it,” said Gina. “Your husband wouldn’t mind… Shit, you two were talkin’ about it in the car.” Gina looked over at Jane and divulged the information she had received on the ride over. “They were talkin’ about havin’ a threesome with Myles.”
Needless to say, Jane got pretty excited about that one. She offered herself up for assistance.
Belinda and Kathy had nothing to say. They knew they had opened up a can of worms with their little prank on the car phone, and Gina was just paying them back for using her as the butt of their joke. With their tail between their legs, the two of them disappeared into the darkness to take care of business.
Now finding themselves alone in the kitchen, Jane and Gina decided it was time to talk about the sense of urgency that surrounded the quartet.
It didn’t last very long.
“Well, what are we gonna do now?” asked Jane.
“I’m gonna grab me a fuckin’ beer.. that’s what I’m gonna do,” answered Gina. “Leave it to Kathy to have some nice imports in her fridge.”
Determined not to be a party-pooper, Jane requested the same thing.
“Alright, gimme one, too,” she said.
Gina opened up the refrigerator door, grabbed a couple of bottles of cold foamies, then brought them over to the counter for opening.
“Seriously, Gina, what are we gonna do? What if the cops start bangin’ on the front door right now… What are we gonna tell them?”
“We’re gonna tell them we don’t know where Anton Khudobin is… The same thing we’ve been tellinem’ for the past two years.”
“Oh, that’s real funny, Gina. You’re always so funny.. did you know that?” said Jane. “No, I’m talkin’ about our current situation.”
“Well, gee-whiz, golly-gee, Jane. It seems we have cops crawlin’ up our butts just about all the time now. Can’t we just be a normal rock band without getting ourselves into trouble all the fuckin’ time?”
Jane saw the perfect opportunity for a snappy comeback.
“That is the behavior of a normal rock band,” she answered.
“Ha-ha, good one, babe,” returned Gina as they clanked the necks of their bottles together. Neither one of them saw the point in not acknowledging a nice comeback.
Jane took one swig of her beer and stared straight ahead, while Gina took successive gulps. After letting out a very satisfying belch, Gina stared back at Jane for a few seconds before revealing the latest nugget of information.
“Did Kathy tell you what I did?” she asked.
“She told me you hit a fucking car,” Jane answered back.
“Yup. Right in the parking lot,” said Gina, completely unfazed.
“Godammit, Gina, you’re a celebrity… They’re gonna crucify you,” Jane informed her. “Both in the courts and in the press… What’s the matter with you? Don’t you ever think about stuff like that?”
“Hey! I was in the middle of a high-speed chase!” explained Gina.
“In the parking lot?!!” Jane shrieked.
Gina was completely caught in a bald-faced lie. She stopped dead in her tracks.
“Well… maybe not in the parking lot,” she fumbled. “But it was totally a tense situation, okay? We were escaping from a.. a.. penitentiary, if you will…
Jane couldn’t help but smirk at Gina’s exaggerated storytelling. She briefly wiped the smile off her mouth with her hand and waited for Gina to continue.
“A penitentiary?” Jane goaded.
“Yes! Okay?! Sort of,” Gina blurted out, now starting to smile herself at her own ridiculous exaggerations. After allowing Jane to calm down a bit, she continued on. “Will you let me finish the story?”
Jane was now thoroughly entertained by Gina’s actions. She could no longer suppress her laughter.
“Okay,” she managed to spit out. “Okay.. finish the story.”
But Gina had no choice but to take Jane’s giggling and behavior at face value. Although she was noticeably irritated at Jane’s overt denial to accept her particulars of the evening’s occurrences, she also relished in seeing her friend so delightfully entertained. She really loved making Jane laugh.
“You’re being such a bitch,” she said, knowing her statement would make Jane laugh even harder.
“I’m not being a bitch,” returned Jane, as she prepared to finish her ultimate rebuttal. It was now time to give Gina the full treatment—
“I wanna hear all about how you and Belinda… escaped from Alcatraz… and led the cops on a full-scale… high-speed chase… through the parking lot… of a day-care center, hahahahaha!!!
Gina loved it. She was grinning from ear to ear. Jane had really come up with a great line.
But now it was time to finish the job. It was time to make Jane laugh so hard she would fall to the floor.
“Fuck you. I’m not talking to you ever again,” Gina deadpanned as she stood up and walked away.
Sure enough, Jane tumbled out of her chair and fell to the ground.
But she was not having a heart-attack.
She was clutching her gut and doubled-over with laughter.