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Continued from previous page…
“What?” asked Jane again. She was trying to figure out what the hell Charlotte was referring to.
“Gina! … I’m tellin’ ya, Jane… Gina is not who you think she is,” answered Charlotte.
“And how do you figure that?” Jane inquired.
“You don’t realize this, Janey-poo,” explained Charlotte, like the sloppy drunk she was becoming. “But, Gina plays the saxophone… And the kazoo.”
Jane was suddenly not in the mood to play along with Charlotte’s drunken silliness. Her ambivalent feelings about the woman she had spent so much time with was now becoming dark and cloudy. Why was Charlotte using again? This didn’t make any sense in Jane’s mind. She had come so far in her sobriety. And why on earth had she and Gina not tried to stop her? Why were they just letting this happen? She was also relatively convinced that Charlotte must have taken a Valium, something she should clearly NOT be doing. Jane came to this conclusion by knowing that Charlotte used to do that in the past when she wanted to unwind in a hurry. But, there was no reason for Charlotte to act so hastily. It was a Saturday and she had the whole summer ahead of her. Unless, of course, she was nervous about a certain meeting… At a certain warehouse…?
JANE
Charlotte, you’re wasted.
CHARLOTTE
I know, sweetie, I’m sorry…
I need to slow down… Come
here.. Come and sit on my lap.
JANE
(not sure)
Charlotte, come on…
I’m not gonna
come sit on your lap.
Gina is
cracking up.
CHARLOTTE
No, no, I mean it.. Come over
here and sit on Mommy’s lap..
I have something important I
want to tell you.
Jane reluctantly
goes over and sits
on Charlotte’s lap.
JANE
(doubtful)
What?
CHARLOTTE
(getting situated)
Jane, honey, have I ever told
you… what a constant joy you
are in my life?
Gina is busting
a gut. Jane eventually
has to smile and
shake her head as well.
JANE
Not lately, no.
CHARLOTTE
Well, you are!!
You’re just so…
cute! Isn’t she cute, Gina?
GINA
Yeah, she’s cute.
CHARLOTTE
You are!!
You’re just like a
little… puppy dog… I just
wanna gobble you up.
Charlotte is
hugging Jane
and kissing her
on the arm.
CHARLOTTE
(continuing)
Hey, Gina… Did you
know that Jane
wants to marry me?
JANE
Charlotte, come on.
GINA
(not exactly thrilled)
Oh, really? No.. I
didn’t know that.
CHARLOTTE
Yup.. She told me
in my office about
three weeks ago. Didn’t
ya’ Jane?
JANE
I didn’t say
it like that.
CHARLOTTE
She said— Oh, so,
can we go to Las Vegas
and get married?
JANE
I didn’t say it like that!
You were talkin’ about
that dumb casino,
and I just made a joke
about going there and
getting married, that’s all.
Charlotte smiles
at her.
GINA
Yeah, when are we
gonna get that
casino, Char?
CHARLOTTE
Soon, Bean…
Real soon.
Jane got up from Charlotte’s lap and went over to the refrigerator. She opened up the door and grabbed a Heineken from the shelf. Since Charlotte had the fresh aroma of marijuana on her being, something that was easy to detect after sitting right on her lap, Jane walked back over to the kitchen table, sat down in one of the chairs and impulsively blurted out—
JANE
Charlotte… Where
do you get that
pot from?
Gina sucked in
some air and
held her breath.
There were certain
things that Charlotte
didn’t like to
talk about.
CHARLOTTE
(still playing)
You mean…
the Luumboo?
JANE
Yeah, the Lumbo.
CHARLOTTE
(hesitates)
Why do you want to
know, Jane?
JANE
I don’t know… Cuz’ you
never tell us these things,
and I was just wondering…
why you keep certain things
such a secret.. that’s all.
CHARLOTTE
Because it’s a good
idea to keep certain
things a secret… That
stuff is illegal.
JANE
Oh, come on.
Nobody cares about
a bag of weed in
the cupboard.
CHARLOTTE
No, probably not…
But they sure as hell
might care about all
that coke in the sugar bowl.
GINA
(interjecting)
Yeah, but we’re a family…
Why can’t you tell us?
JANE
Yeah?
CHARLOTTE
Guys… Some day, I’ll sit you
all down and tell you everything…
But not today, okay? You’ll just
have to be patient… Trust me.
Jane and Gina were visibly disheartened by Charlotte’s resolute stance. They didn’t want to wait for an explanation at some time in the future; They wanted to know now. That’s why Gina made the comment about being a family. She was really hoping that ploy was going to work. Besides, they weren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other. That was one of the initial agreements— no secrets. There was never supposed to be any general dishonesty, either. They were always supposed to be truthful with each other till death do they part. Jane and Gina were now convinced that there had to be more to Charlotte’s little clandestine life than just scoring a simple QP of weed and some blow. There had to be.
Their chagrin was short-lived, however, as the sound of commotion coming from the front door made Misfit jump up and bark and head towards the sound.
It was Belinda. She was the next to arrive.
“Hey!! Anybody here?!!” she called out.
The three of them got out of their seats and were prepared to go greet their fabulous front-girl, but Belinda scurried down the corridor so quickly, with Misfit pawing and jumping on her, that they didn’t get a chance to move very far.
Belinda burst into the kitchen with her arms outstretched, screaming and carrying on like she hadn’t seen everybody in years. Generally speaking, it was nothing too much out of the ordinary. The girls were typically happy to see each other after a short layoff. But, Belinda seemed particularly excited about something this time. It wasn’t just a matter of seeing the old gang again.
With her woman’s intuition on full blast, Charlotte could instantly sense that she didn’t want to hear the words that were about to come out of Belinda’s mouth.
After hugs and kisses and bending down to give Missy the appropriate amount of affection, Belinda stood up and set her stuff down on the table.
“So, how was Australia?!” asked Jane.
“Uhh, it was gorgeous— So gorgeous. I swear, I didn’t want to leave. The wedding was beautiful… Everything worked out perfectly. I couldn’t believe it. Ya know how things like that.. Especially something so involved.. Something always gets screwed up? Not this time. This time, everything worked out perfectly. It was exquisite,” Belinda summed up.
“Get to the next part,” Charlotte thought in her head.
“BUT, forget about the wedding for now,” cautioned Belinda. “I’ve got even bigger news! Something that also might involve a wedding someday.”
“Oh, God, here it comes,” Charlotte kept thinking.
“What is it?” asked Jane, excitedly.
“I think I’m in LAH- OVE!!!” Belinda called out.
Gina and Jane’s mouths dropped open. Charlotte could feel the bile stirring in her stomach.
“Did you just see your reflection in the pond?” kidded Gina, who, for some reason, could always get away with ripping on Belinda more than anyone else.
“No, Gina.. Ha ha, very droll, as usual,” responded Belinda.
“In love?! With who?!” inquired Jane, even though she could sense the same thing that Charlotte was going through.
“I just had my first date with… MYLES LAST NIGHT!!!” shrieked Belinda.
“Omigod, that’s incredible!!!” returned Jane, in the same fashion.
In response to the riveting news, Jane reached up and gave Belinda a huge, congratulatory embrace. When she was done, she shot a quick glance in Charlotte’s direction. Jane knew that she was the only one who was privy to Charlotte’s feelings about Myles.
The only one in the room, that is.
AUTHOR’S NOTE:
I suppose I should apologize to the actual Go-Go’s
for making references to drug and alcohol use.
I can only hope they understand the absurd
nature of my silly, little story.