19
Continued from previous page…
JANE
Oh, no, no, no, I’m sorry,
Char, I didn’t mean it like
that… I agree. You’re the
creamiest.
CHARLOTTE
Actually, I don’t know why I even brought
it up. I don’t know what to say to him.
Every time I see him, I don’t know what
to say. I feel like such an idiot.
JANE
How often do you see him?
CHARLOTTE
Not that often. Only once in a while. We’re both
so busy. I don’t know what to do. It’s not like
I’m going to ask him out or anything.
JANE
Yeeaah, I’m not so sure
about that one. Besides,
it might be against the rules.
There is a small amount
of uncomfortable silence.
Jane can sense that it might
be time to change the subject.
JANE
Well, I’m sure if it’s meant to be..
something will happen.
CHARLOTTE
I guess… Actually, I don’t
think I wanna talk about
it anymore. It’s makin’
me kinda’ depressed.
NOW it’s time to
change the subject.
JANE
OH, OH, OH, I almost forgot!
I have to tell you what
happened with Kathy today!
CHARLOTTE
Oh, God, what did she do?
JANE
Nothing. Why do you
assume it’s something bad?
CHARLOTTE
Cuz’ Kathy is like a fifteen- year-old boy. I never know
what she’s gonna do. You have to admit, when she lit
off that brick of Black-Cats at the production
meeting— that was not cool. She nearly gave everyone
a heart attack. I swear, her and Gina are gonna rob a
bank one of these days just for the fun of it.
JANE
Well, this wasn’t one of her pranks.
This was something
that happened on the set.
CHARLOTTE
Okay.
JANE
Okay, so we’re all ready to
do the car dealership scene,
right?
CHARLOTTE
Oh, yeah, that was
scheduled for 11:00 o’clock.
JANE
Yeah, something like that.
Actually, we were a
little late in getting started.
CHARLOTTE
So I heard.
JANE
Hey, it wasn’t my fault.
I was all in makeup
and ready to go.
CHARLOTTE
(speaking to herself)
Where was I?
JANE
How the hell am I supposed
to know where you were?
Probably in your office. Would
you let me tell the story?
CHARLOTTE
Okay, sorry, go ahead.
JANE
So, anyway, Kathy is supposed
to act like she wants to
buy a car, right?
CHARLOTTE
Yeah?
JANE
So, she’s blabbin’ away with
the salesman, right, and she’s
supposed to kick one of the tires..
cuz’ that’s what people do,
I guess, when they wanna
buy a car, right?
CHARLOTTE
Yeah?
JANE
So, she winds up, and she kicks
the back tire way too hard.. and all of
a sudden, you hear this— CRACK!
And Kathy screams out—
MOTHERFUCKER!!
CHARLOTTE
Oh, shit. What was it?
JANE
IT WAS HER TOE !!
She almost broke
her fuckin’ toe!
CHARLOTTE
(laughs)
Oh, jeez.
At this point, although
they don’t mean it, Jane
and Charlotte start laughing
uncontrollably at someone
else’s physical pain.
JANE
(laughing while telling the story)
So.. she grabs her foot… and she’s
hoppin’ around on one leg…
swearin’ her ass off… and I just
fell right down on the ground
I was laughin’ so hard… and Scott
goes over to her and asks her
if she’s alright… and she doesn’t
answer him… but she looks over at me
and sees me rollin’ on the ground,
and goes, “Yeah, real funny, Jane.”
Ya know, just like Kathy would say
it— “Yeah, real funny, Jane.”
CHARLOTTE
(enjoying this)
So, what happened next?
JANE
So… she had to take a break..
for, like, twenty minutes…
to go rub her toe— HAHAHAHA!!
CHARLOTTE
What did Paul do?
JANE
What could he do? He had to
sit around and wait like
the rest of us.
CHARLOTTE
So then what happened?
JANE
So.. she comes back… and she’s
hobblin’ around a little bit…
and Paul asks her if she’s willing
to do it again.. and Kathy goes,
“Yeah, I’ll do it.” Ya know, in her
deep ass voice— “Yeah, I’ll do it.”
CHARLOTTE
I can totally picture her
saying that— “Yeah, I’ll do it,”
JANE
(laughing up again)
So, this time, instead of kicking it with her right foot,
she uses her left foot… and this time… she just sort of
taps at it… cuz’ she’s all afraid of hurting herself again…
and everyone is just cracking up with anticipation…
So, finally, Paul just yells “cut” and we all just took a
break cuz’ nobody could stop laughing.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, man, why do I always
miss the good stuff?
JANE
Just go in the editing room
and check it out. They kept
the cameras rolling the whole time.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, good, I’m gonna do that.
JANE
And, ya know, Kathy is just
soaking all of this in…
I’ll tell ya, when that girl
gets center stage, she milks it.
She milks it for everything
it’s worth… She is so funny.
CHARLOTTE
Yeah, she is.
JANE
She’s like a moth to a flame.
CHARLOTTE
Ooh, that’s a good song title.
Write that down.
JANE
Check.
CHARLOTTE
So, did Paul end up
cutting that part?
JANE
No, we re-did it later.
CHARLOTTE
Later?
JANE
Yeah, cuz’ Kronwall came
in and interrupted everything.