Valley of the Go-Go’s by Clark Wright

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Most of the amenities that made up the ambiance of the Go-Go’s picturesque piece of pompous property in Palm Springs were there for the girls to enjoy while visiting the retreat in their free time. The only drawback to this fact was the theoretical definition of free time as it applied to the girls and the relative scarcity thereof. During most of their professional careers, “free time” was pretty hard to come by, and once they arrived at the resort, they had to decide rather hastily how to spend their gifted respite before management started getting panicky and began calling on the phone.

What to do?… What to do?

Should I relax out by the pool? Should I go horseback riding?

The prevailing opinion between our beautiful bunch of bananas was that the property should be used predominantly for throwing lavish parties in order to justify having such an enormous plaything in the first place. After all, they had this grandiose piece of land— why not use it properly?

Other times, however, when they were feeling especially fatigued, it was obvious that they simply wanted to get away from it all, enjoy some peace and quiet, and wallow in their capitalistic glory.

No matter how you sliced it, there was very little to complain about.

The bandshell probably proved to be the most captivating and favorite feature of the estate. During the girl’s fabulous soirees, most of the guests congregated outside on the west lawn to drink and socialize. Naturally, since most of the Go-Go’s friends and acquaintances were musicians and entertainers, the venue provided a steady stream of people running up on stage, many spurred on by the urging of their fellow industry cohorts, to showcase their individual talents. It was fitting and fulfilling, and a necessary occurrence at a Go-Go’s bacchanal. It was also a stark reminder of most celebrities’ constant need for recognition and validation.

And while the bandshell established itself to be a smash hit by everyone, the other features probably could have been counted down on some sort of a list as to their level of importance to each member of the band.

The golf course, for instance, meant very little to the girls. It was mostly there for display, and to allow any guests or clients to play on it if the inclination should strike. The decision to have it included in the construction of the property was the most debatable amongst all the other features. For one, it was costly to maintain due to the lack of rain out in the desert, and two, it required extra time and effort from the groundskeepers to keep it looking trimmed and presentable. All that being said, however, the cost and the labor remained a mere pittance in the overall picture of things at Go-Go’s Manor. Besides, the course didn’t all go to waste as some people might think. Sometimes, when the girls would get really shitfaced, they would go out on the fairways and smack some balls around, using one another for target practice, and legitimately trying to plunk each other with the little, white projectiles. Then, after a mutual display of exhaustion, they would all end up on the putting green, sit down in the lawn chairs, and have the staff bring them out some refreshments. After that, the dreaded putting contests would ensue, each one coughing up a thousand dollars apiece for the jackpot. It started out as fun, but as was typical of the Go-Go’s, it ended up with some putters almost being heaved at each other. Eventually, they ceased all golfing activities completely.

Probably just as well.

On one misguided occasion, in order to commemorate a certain photo shoot they did for Rolling Stone magazine, the girls all went out on the course in their underwear and played a round for the entertainment of the grounds crew. Unfortunately, it ended up being a poor case of judgement as each one of them forgot to put on sun-screen. As a result, Gina got sunburnt so badly, she got sick and ended up in bed for two days.

The enduring price of fame, I suppose.

Aside from all of that, the number one outcome from having the estate was undoubtedly the parties that were held while they were still young enough to handle all the hoopla. What better way to celebrate their youth then to whoop it up on a regular basis? Over time, the formal galas and semi-formal bashes that the Go-Go’s threw soon became the stuff of legend. Politicians, dignitaries, business leaders, rock stars, actors, etc. were all on the guest list, and all were eager to come. The reputation of these events quickly echoed throughout Hollywood and beyond, and rapidly became something that could not be missed.