Valley of the Go-Go’s … Amusement in the Terror Park

118

 

 

Saturday, August 28th, 1982, 11:20 A.M.

 

 

Seeing all the children milling around the park, jumping and playing beneath the blue sky, never far from the watchful eyes or their parents, always gave Belinda a warm feeling deep down in her heart. After all, she was a child at heart herself, something she knew would always be inside of her for the rest of her life. She remembered Johnny Carson saying once that all entertainers were nothing but grown-up children and it always made her smile when she thought of that subtle, yet profound statement from the king of late-night. She also had a hunch, due to her upcoming T.V. show, that she would be sitting in the topmost chair next to him at some time in the near future.

This made her smile as well.

And so, going to Knott’s Berry Farm with Steve, and dreaming of being a star on this delightfully sunny morning, was just what the doctor ordered for Belinda and her pugilistic boy-toy.

Steve was the perfect stop in her journey down the yellow-brick-road, as she imagined herself skipping like Dorothy towards the magical kingdom of Self-Loathing and Abuse. She likened the two of them to Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio, even though she felt sorry for poor Norma every time she thought of her having to stick her tongue in the Yankee Clipper’s mouth.

But, Belinda had that well taken care of. Steve was a total hunk.

Yes, indeedy-reedy, she had the whole thing carefully planned out:

1.)  Get a professional athlete to make you look like you can snag any man.

2.)  Dump him and marry a man with a truckload of money.

3.)  Take a break from show-business and dry-out, making people feel sorry for you.

4.)  Make a triumphant return, preaching health and wellness.

5.)  Eventually go into politics and possibly become the first woman President.

At 24, she wasn’t totally sure if any of this would happen, but it was fun to fantasize about.

Steve and Belinda strolled through the park, stopping at various points of interest, and seriously considering riding the scariest roller-coaster the park had to offer. Steve made several attempts at winning her a giant, stuffed panda, while Belinda mulled-over some cheap trinkets to purchase. Steve, who was Canadian, wore the tight, Magnum P.I. style shorts with tennis shoes and no socks, while Belinda wore white cut-offs with the matching top. Steve completed the look with a Hawaiian shirt.

 

STEVE

I’m having an awesome time.

BELINDA

Me too. We look great together.

STEVE

Do you wanna get a sno-cone?
They’re right over there.

BELINDA

That sounds good. I like
lemon-lime.

STEVE

Cool. I like grape.

BELINDA

Oh, ya’ know what? Maybe we
should get something to drink instead.

STEVE

Why?

BELINDA

Cuz’ I just did some lines in the
bathroom and now I got a giant,
coke loogie on the back of my throat
I gotta’ wash down.

STEVE

I don’t like you doing drugs, babe.

BELINDA
(touched)
Ohh.. well.. luckily for you, you
never get to tell me what to do.
Remember, we discussed this?

STEVE

Oh, that’s right. I forgot, eh.

BELINDA

Which reminds me, I’m gonna be
a jittery wreck in about twenty minutes.
Maybe we should get some beers instead.

STEVE

That sounds good, eh. I love beer.
Up in Canada, it’s our national drink.

BELINDA

Where do you think they got some?

STEVE

I think they sell some over
by the kiddie rides.

BELINDA

That sounds appropriate.
Let’s go.

The two continue
their walk.

BELINDA

I love the way our relationship
is going.

STEVE

Me too. You’re smokin’ hot.

BELINDA

I know.. and you are too. All
except for your missing front teeth.
How did that happen?

STEVE

All hockey players are missing
their teeth. It’s part of the fun, eh.

BELINDA

Well, you’ll need to get that fixed.
I can’t have you looking like an
Appalachian when you’re
photographed with me.

STEVE

I will, babe. I got an
appointment next week.
Just like you told me.

BELINDA

And… do you think you could win
the World Series? That would be
great for my image.

STEVE

We don’t have the World Series, eh.
We go for The Cup.

BELINDA

You mean— that thing you wear
to keep your balls from getting smooshed?

STEVE

No, no, that’s a cup, not thee cup. I’m
talkin’ about the Stanley Cup. That’s
our trophy.

BELINDA

Ohhh, okay, I get it. What a cool name.