Valley of the Go-Go’s … I’m Splittin,’ Man

129

 

 

Continued from page 126…

 

 

CHARLOTTE

Oh, God, Kathy, I’m so
glad it’s you that’s here right
now and not somebody else…
I need your sense of
strength right now.

Kathy hears
this and knows
she must
continue to
appease Charlotte.

KATHY

Should I be touching
you? Is it gonna
rub off?

Charlotte is
overwhelmed
by Kathy’s
sense of humor.

CHARLOTTE
(amused)
No.. it’s not contagious.

KATHY

Good..
Cuz’ I got enough problems
with my own personality.
I don’t need another one.

After laughing,
Charlotte regains
some of her
composure.

CHARLOTTE

Kathy…
You have to promise me
that you won’t tell anybody
about this.

KATHY
(joking)
You don’t want me
to tell Barbara Walters?

CHARLOTTE

Kathy, I’m so scared…
My doctors tell me there’s
no cure for this.

KATHY

What do you mean,
there’s no cure? What
about medicine?

CHARLOTTE

Medicine can only control
it… As it stands, there’s
still no actual cure for it.

KATHY

That doesn’t seem right…
With the way modern medicine
is today… I can’t believe that.

CHARLOTTE

It’s just the way it is…
Maybe, someday, they’ll
come up with a cure…
But for now… I’ll just have
to live with this.

Kathy is
bewildered
and doesn’t know
what to say.

KATHY

So, how many personalities
do you have? Is one of them
Sally Field?

CHARLOTTE

It doesn’t work like that…
It’s more of an out of body
experience… I just sort of
leave my body.. and lose
touch with reality… I suddenly
don’t care who I am anymore…
It’s like I don’t want to be me
anymore.

KATHY

Really? …
Can I be you?
You’re hot.

CHARLOTTE

And I don’t know where it
came from, either… Usually,
that stuff comes from some
sort of.. childhood trauma..
or something like that… But
I didn’t have any trauma when
I was growing up… I had an
idealistic childhood… My dad
was in television.

That response
almost deserves
a laugh and an
applause.

KATHY

Ehh, I don’t know about that
one, Char… You and I are in
television right now… And the
trauma of getting up at 4:30 in
the morning six days a week
is enough to turn anyone
into a certified schizo…
Maybe that’s it.

CHARLOTTE

No, that’s not it…
I just don’t understand it…
Why is this happening to me?
There’s virtually no explanation
as to why this is happening
to me.

Charlotte is
overcome with
emotion. She
starts to cry.

CHARLOTTE

I just don’t know
what to do.

She hugs
Kathy again.

KATHY

It’s okay, honey…
I’m here for you…
I’ll try and help you
any way I can.

Charlotte,
who is
not void
of humor,
speaks up…

CHARLOTTE

You’re touching
me again.

KATHY

I know…
Please tell me one
of your personalities
isn’t Nancy Reagan, is it?
I can’t say “no” to
anything.

They release.

KATHY

So, that’s it, huh?
That explains everything?
The dead bodies… The
drinking… The drug dealing?

CHARLOTTE

Pretty much, yeah…
You don’t honestly think
innocent, little me
would vote to bury someone
in our back yard, do ya?

KATHY

Well, I don’t know…
You run our corporation…
You handle some pretty
ruthless things…
Maybe you are capable of…

CHARLOTTE
(eyes wide open)
What? … Murder?

KATHY

I wasn’t gonna
say that.

CHARLOTTE

Yes, you were.

Obvious pause
and glare from
Kathy.

KATHY

Alright.. so, let’s have it…
Khudobin didn’t die of
an overdose, did he?

Charlotte
realizes
that Kathy
has been
right all
along.

CHARLOTTE

I guess you might as
well know the truth.

KATHY

We’ve already figured
some of it out.

CHARLOTTE

Who?
You and Jane?

KATHY

Yes.

CHARLOTTE

Oh, boy…
You and Jane think you’re
sooo smart together, don’t ya?

KATHY
(bluntly)
We’ve done the New York
Times Crossword together
many times.

CHARLOTTE

On a Saturday?

KATHY

Well.. maybe not
on a Saturday…

CHARLOTTE

And what conclusion
did you two come to?

KATHY

We just knew that he couldn’t
have died from a cocaine
overdose… There was no
blood coming out of his nose…
Or his mouth… The coke was
all neatly piled on the end
table… He was facing down on
the bed with the sheets perfectly
folded on top of him… Everything
was just too neat… Like someone
staged it that way… And like I’ve
been saying all along.. Belinda
would not sleep with a total stranger
like that… Not after her announcement
that she was in love with Myles…
No way… I know her better than that…
So does Jane… And her mysteriously
blacking out like that… The whole
thing stunk to high heaven.

Charlotte is
impressed.

CHARLOTTE

Very good…
Very good detective work…
I didn’t think you would
pursue this so heavily, but I
was wrong about you… and
Jane… Nice work, girls…
You got me.

KATHY

And we haven’t even gotten
to the fun part yet.

CHARLOTTE

Which is?

KATHY
(sinister stare)
How did he die, Charlotte?

 

Copyright 2023
by Clark Wright

Let there be peace in this world.