111
Continued from previous page…
KATHY
Actually, Charlotte, we’re both
concentrating on the wrong thing.
CHARLOTTE
I know… You’re right… How in the
world did we get on the subject of men?
KATHY
Because we’re women.
CHARLOTTE
If we’re gonna talk about men, we
should be talkin’ about my upcoming
nuptials to Zorba the Greek here.
KATHY
You’re right, we should.
CHARLOTTE
(still can’t get over it)
So they’re really in love, huh?
KATHY
(understands)
I’m afraid so.
CHARLOTTE
Just my luck… I gotta’ go
up against Belinda… That’s
never a good thing.
KATHY
Ya gotta’ admit…
They make a cute couple.
CHARLOTTE
Of course they make a cute
couple. They’re gonna be on the
front page of every gossip magazine
in America pretty soon. They
better make a cute couple.
KATHY
I’m sorry, Char.
CHARLOTTE
Why does everything good
always happen to her?
KATHY
(calmly)
Don’t blame Belinda.. She’s such
a sweetheart… She’s more
selfless than you think… Sometimes
I don’t think we give her enough
credit for that… I don’t think
anyone does.
CHARLOTTE
I don’t blame her… And I don’t
blame myself… I just blame… life.
KATHY
(cheerfully)
Why don’t we change the subject?!
CHARLOTTE
Why… You got some more
bad news for me?
KATHY
(realizing)
Uhh, well…
CHARLOTTE
Oh, Kathy, no… Please..
no more bad news… I don’t
think I can handle any more.
KATHY
I’m sorry…
CHARLOTTE
What is it this time?
Did Jane curl her hair again?
KATHY
No.. It’s worse than that…
Far worse.
CHARLOTTE
Far worse? Should I sit
down for this?
KATHY
You can sit down… But
you won’t sit for long.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, God.
Charlotte sits on the
edge of the bed and waits.
KATHY
(apprehensive)
It’s about your body-double again.
CHARLOTTE
Are you kidding me?! How much
more can this chick do?!
What did she do?! Kill someone?!
Kathy pauses because she
feels this might be the best
way to let that information
sink in.
CHARLOTTE
(stunned and wide-eyed)
Kathy?
Kathy remains silent.
Charlotte stands up.
CHARLOTTE
Kathy, please tell me she didn’t
kill someone… Please tell me
I’m not wanted for murder.
KATHY
We’re not sure.
CHARLOTTE
Not sure? Not sure that
I’m wanted for murder?
KATHY
No.. Charlotte, relax, you’re
not wanted for murder… We
took care of that.
CHARLOTTE
Took care of what, Kathy?
Who? Who took care of it?
KATHY
Me.. and the girls… And you…
Fake you.
CHARLOTTE
(speechless)
So.. she did kill someone?
KATHY
(slightly grinning)
We’re not sure of that.
At this point, Kathy is
experiencing the phenomenon
of smiling amidst the
announcement of death.
Charlotte can’t believe it.
CHARLOTTE
You’re smiling… Why are
you smiling? You think
this is funny?
KATHY
(trying to hold it back)
No, I don’t.
CHARLOTTE
Then why are you smiling, Kathy?
You do… You do think this is funny.
KATHY
You’re making me laugh!
CHARLOTTE
How am I making you laugh?!!
Huh?! Explain that to me!
How am I making you laugh?!
KATHY
Because… you’re all pissed-off.
Charlotte’s stunned expression
only makes Kathy laugh harder.
CHARLOTTE
I don’t believe this… This is
not a band… This is a group of
psychopaths… Five psychopaths…
(pointing her finger)
You know.. my parents warned
me against this… They warned me
against joining a rock and roll band…
If I would have taken that job my
dad told me about ten years ago..
I wouldn’t be in this mess… I’d be
normal… I wouldn’t know you, Kathy.
And that would make me normal…
I wouldn’t know any of you…
And I’d be normal.
KATHY
(trying to cheer her up)
But you wouldn’t be on television!
CHARLOTTE
(inhaling)
You mind telling me… Why you
derive.. some sort of perverse pleasure..
in seeing me pissed-off?
KATHY
I don’t find pleasure in it.
It’s just a reaction… You know..
you’re our fearless leader, and..
you’re all.. agitated…
(smiling)
Can’t you see the humor in that?
CHARLOTTE
(pauses)
Fine, Kathy, I’m all agitated…
Yes, I can see the humor in that…
Now, can we get back to the
business at hand? Can we get back
to this bitch killing someone? And
how the five of you apparently
covered the whole thing up?
KATHY
Again.. we’re not sure if you
killed someone, Char. I mean,
the fake you.
CHARLOTTE
(nodding)
Fine.. We’re not sure that I
killed someone… You mind
telling me who else you think
might have killed this poor,
unfortunate soul, whoever
it is?
KATHY
We think it might be Rocco.
CHARLOTTE
Rocco?!! What does Rocco
have to do with any of this?!
KATHY
We think she might have
ordered him to do it.