Valley of the Go-Go’s

110

 

Continued from previous page…

 

KATHY

Well, maybe she did a great job
and you’re off the hook.

CHARLOTTE

Off the hook? She did a great job
and I’m off the hook? No, Kathy,
that just puts more pressure on me.

KATHY
(shaking her head)
You’re a hard woman
to satisfy, Charlotte.

CHARLOTTE
(realizing this)
I am, aren’t I?

KATHY

Yes, you are. Do you listen
to yourself?

CHARLOTTE
(drained)
Oh, man, Kathy, what
am I gonna do?

KATHY

Now what?

CHARLOTTE

Why am I such a
failure with men?

KATHY

What are you talking about?
You didn’t have anything to
do with this. You can’t control
what this bitch is doing. I’m
sure everything is fine with Jeff.
Bad performance or not, I’m
sure he likes you just the same.

CHARLOTTE

You think so?

KATHY

Yes, Charlotte, I’m sure he still
has the hots for you.

CHARLOTTE
(not sure)
You think he likes anyone else?

Uh-oh.

KATHY
(stammering)
Uh, well, ya know, it’s always
possible, I guess…

CHARLOTTE

Who? Who? Who
do you think?

KATHY

Well, I don’t know, Char.. I mean..
I couldn’t say, offhand… It could
be a lot of people, ya know?

CHARLOTTE

A lot of people?

KATHY

Oh, come on, Char.. you know
about Jeff.

CHARLOTTE

Know about what?
He sleeps around a lot?

KATHY

Well, I don’t know if he sleeps
around so much… I just know he…

CHARLOTTE

He what?

KATHY

He likes women, Char… You don’t
know that about him? He likes women,
okay? Like.. all of them… You don’t
notice how much he flirts with all the
women around the studio? He’s non-stop.

CHARLOTTE

Really?

KATHY

Yes, Charlotte, really… You need to be
more observant… I don’t think Jeff
is the right guy for you.

Immediately after saying
this, Kathy feels a sharp
twinge of guilt.

CHARLOTTE
(saddened)
But he always says such nice
things to me… Maybe I could
get him to settle down.

KATHY

I don’t know.

CHARLOTTE

Well, now we’re back to
square one again.

KATHY

What do you mean?

CHARLOTTE

Why I’m such a failure with men.

KATHY

Charlotte, you need to stop this..
What happened to Bruce Willis?
You guys went out a couple of times.

CHARLOTTE

Eh, I don’t know about that one.

KATHY

Why? Because he works for ABC?

CHARLOTTE

That doesn’t have anything
to do with it.

KATHY

Are you sure? You’re quite
the company girl.

CHARLOTTE

Yes, I’m positive.. I don’t tow the
company line as much as people
think.

KATHY

Well, ya better nail him
before Cybill Sheppard does.

CHARLOTTE

I’m sure she already has. You know
about her reputation too, don’t you?

KATHY
(throws her arms up)
Well, I’m all out of answers… I
don’t have any more advice for you…
(pauses)
Unless…

CHARLOTTE

Unless what?

KATHY
(cautious)
Unless there’s somebody else
you’re thinkin’ about?

At this point, Charlotte’s
intuition takes over. She looks
at Kathy for a while, then
makes a calculated accusation.

CHARLOTTE

You been talkin’ to Jane?

KATHY

I don’t know what you mean?

CHARLOTTE

Did she open up her big
mouth about something?

KATHY

No.. she didn’t.. Don’t blame
this on her. I heard it from the
horse’s mouth.

CHARLOTTE
(anxious)
Alright.. let’s have it… Let’s
see if we’re talkin’ about the
same thing… Just say it.

KATHY

Charlotte… Belinda and
Myles are in love.

Charlotte is pulverized, but
she doesn’t show it. She stares,
blinks, paces back and forth.
It’s almost as if she expected it.

CHARLOTTE

The horse’s mouth?

KATHY

I wasn’t there… but, apparently,
Belinda burst into the house during
summer break and announced that
she and Myles had been out on some
kinda’ date the night before… and
that… they were in love with each
other… At least, that’s what she thinks.

Charlotte continues on with
her behavior. Eventually, her
curiosity pops up.

CHARLOTTE

That still doesn’t answer
my question.

KATHY
(peeved)
What question?

CHARLOTTE

How do you know about my
feelings for Myles? You sure
Jane didn’t say something?

KATHY

Stop blaming this on her!  You’re
focusing on all the wrong things!
Jane didn’t tell me about your
feelings… I figured it out on my own.

CHARLOTTE

Oh, you figured it out on your own.
Oh, that’s right, I forgot, you’re
the smartest woman in the world.
How did I forget that?

KATHY
(had enough)
Knock it off, Charlotte. I’m sick of
your shit.. It’s true, I am the smartest
woman in the world.. but that has
nothing to do with it. Your feelings
for Myles were obvious. For your
information, Jane did not tell me about
them, okay? She managed to keep this
whole thing a secret… As much as it
probably killed her… And don’t be
jumpin’ all over Belinda’s shit either.
You can’t blame her.. a gorgeous T.V.
executive like that… Who wouldn’t fall
for him?

Charlotte is taking Kathy’s
tongue-lashing in stride.

KATHY

You need to grow up and stop feeling
sorry for yourself… Have you looked
in the mirror lately? In case you haven’t
noticed, you’re pretty fucking gorgeous
yourself… The right man will come along
for you… Just have a little patience.