104
Continued from previous page…
CHARLOTTE
This is unbelievable… I mean, this
is truly unbelievable. This is
unbelievable even for us… Okay,
let’s go back to the beginning.. You
went over to my office, right?
KATHY
Yup.
CHARLOTTE
When was this?
KATHY
Friday night.
CHARLOTTE
What for?
Kathy doesn’t want to get
into that right now.
KATHY
Uhh, just to pay you a visit. I
wanted to see how business
was going.
CHARLOTTE
And she was there?
KATHY
She was there alright.
CHARLOTTE
Just sitting at my desk?
Standing around? I mean,
I don’t get it.. What is this
chick doing?
KATHY
She’s probably stealing our
money! That’s what she’s doing!
CHARLOTTE
Oh, believe me, I know that’s
what she’s doing… I’ve already
been informed of that!
KATHY
Well, that’s just great! She’s
stealing our money… What
the fuck are we gonna do, Charlotte?
How are we gonna get it back?
CHARLOTTE
We gotta’ get out of here first.
KATHY
Easier said than done.
CHARLOTTE
Okay, so then what happened?
You burst into the office and she
was just standing there?
KATHY
I didn’t burst into the office…
I knocked and she answered…
Actually, I scared the shit out of
her. It was around nine o’clock
and she thought the building
was empty. I disguised my voice.
I said I was Rona Barrett.
CHARLOTTE
Okay, then what?
KATHY
Well.. then.. I went over and made
myself a drink.. and then we went
up into your private office and
started talking.
CHARLOTTE
And that’s when you started
noticing that it wasn’t me?
KATHY
Yeah, well, I already had a pretty
good idea that it wasn’t you… I
just had to put the final pieces
of the puzzle together.
CHARLOTTE
(in agreement)
Right.. right.. So what did
she say that finally tipped
you off?
KATHY
Uhh, just little things, ya know…
She started saying some pretty
mean things to me, for one..
That didn’t seem like you.
CHARLOTTE
(chagrined)
I think sometimes I do say some
mean things to you, Kathy..
I’m sorry.
KATHY
(sympathetic)
Now’s not the time for apologies,
Charlotte.. Just forget about it…
We all say some mean things to
each other from time to time…
It’s just part of the deal.
CHARLOTTE
So, that’s it? There had to be more?
KATHY
Well, yeah, sure, there was more…
I mean, you gotta’ remember.. I went
into this thing with the intention of
pissing her off.. so that she might do
something really stupid that would
make me call the cops on her.
CHARLOTTE
Did she do that?
KATHY
Eventually, yeah… I started accusing
her of shady business dealings… and
not paying us our fair share… and not
paying her taxes and shit like that.
CHARLOTTE
Omigod.. and that worked?
KATHY
It sure as hell did… She started
screaming at me.. That’s when I
picked up the phone and threatened
to call the police.
CHARLOTTE
And then.. what?
KATHY
She pulled a gun out of her
purse and pointed it at me.
CHARLOTTE
(gasps)
Huhh !! Omigod…
Then what did you do?
KATHY
I did everything she told
me to do after that. What
do you think I did?
CHARLOTTE
Wow… The same thing
happened to me.. basically.
KATHY
They abducted you
in your office?
CHARLOTTE
No, they abducted me down
in the parking garage… but it
was basically the same thing…
I was just about ready to get into
my car, when a van came screeching
up.. and two guys jumped out and
held me at gunpoint.. They took my
purse and my jewelry and told me
to get inside the van.. I thought I was
just being robbed at first.. but then
they told me to get in the van, and
I knew it was something else…
Kathy, I was never so scared in my
entire life… I thought I was gonna
get raped… I thought I was gonna
get killed.
Charlotte starts sobbing.
Kathy comforts her.
KATHY
It’s okay… It’s okay, baby…
You’re alright now.
CHARLOTTE
(sniffling)
And then… I arrived here…
and they put me in this room.
KATHY
How did you get here?
CHARLOTTE
I came on a luxury liner.
KATHY
A luxury liner, huh?
CHARLOTTE
Yeah… How did you get here?
KATHY
I got shoved in the back
of a cargo plane, Charlotte.
Charlotte can see that Kathy is
doing her classic routine of
acting sarcastic, which naturally
makes Charlotte chuckle through
her tears.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, jeez.. I’m sorry.
KATHY
No, no, don’t be! You know me…
Story of my life! Charlotte gets a
trip on a luxury liner, and I get
shoved into the back of a cargo plane!
What else is new?
CHARLOTTE
(trying not to laugh)
Kathy, stop it.
KATHY
It wasn’t that bad… Made friends
with a rat.. Nice fella’…
Has sixty-seven children…