62
Continued from previous page…
CHARLOTTE
Yeah, I’m beginning to sense
that this conversation is going
to take a turn for the worse any
second now.
KATHY
You’re probably right…
I just hope we don’t
start throwing things
at each other.
Kathy takes
a long pause.
CHARLOTTE
I’m waiting.
KATHY
Charlotte… Do you remember
Marco Scandella, one of our
old tax attorneys?… Nice guy,
loved hockey? Everything was
going well… Then you fired his ass?
CHARLOTTE
I had him relieved of his duties.
KATHY
Oh! Well, excuse me.
I’m sorry to infringe on your
delicate choice of words there.
Relieved of his duties… Yeah..
Yeah, I’m sure that softens
the blow.
CHARLOTTE
A subject in which you’re an expert
on, I’m sure.
KATHY
Oh! Ha, ha, ha… What a comeback!
And the laughs just keep on flowing
here at Caffey’s Cavalcade of Comedy!
Oh, Char, you should have your
own variety show!
CHARLOTTE
No, thanks.. That’s not my thing.
KATHY
(wiping away her fake tears)
No… I guess not… Cuz,’ ya know?
You’d have to know how to sing and
dance and play an instrument….
Ya’ know? Things you’re not
very good at.
Charlotte stands up,
grabs a letter opener
from the top of the
desk and grits her teeth.
CHARLOTTE
Maybe you’d like it better if
I just came over there and
jammed this into your neck.
Kathy is unfazed.
KATHY
Hey.. Anytime you’re feeling froggy,
honey, you just jump.
CHARLOTTE
Interesting choice of words, bitch,
seeing as how the sight of one of
those little bastards sends you
into paralyzing fear.
KATHY
(extended pause)
Put the letter opener down, Charlotte.
Charlotte places the letter opener
back down on the desk and sits down.
KATHY
You know, you’re not playing fair…
We haven’t even got to the good part
yet, and already you’re threatening me
with violence.
CHARLOTTE
(peeved)
What about Scandella?
KATHY
You mean, what about
him now?
CHARLOTTE
I don’t give a fuck what he’s doing
now. How does he pertain to
the story?
KATHY
Wow, you really don’t
know, do you?
CHARLOTTE
Know what?
KATHY
He passed away about a year
and a half ago.
CHARLOTTE
Oh.. I didn’t know…
I’m sorry to hear that.
KATHY
Yeah… He developed Stage 4
Colon Cancer a while back…
and.. well, ya’ know.
CHARLOTTE
How do you know about it?
KATHY
We developed a friendship
over time.
CHARLOTTE
Really?
KATHY
Yeah, turns out, he was a pretty
big Go-Go’s fan.
CHARLOTTE
Well, I assumed he would be.
He seemed pretty enthusiastic
when I hired him.
KATHY
Yeah.. and over time, of course,
he developed a crush on me…
He told me a couple of times how
much he liked it when I flipped my
hair around in a circle on stage…
I guess it sorta’ turned him on…
Ya’ know? Like millions of other men.
CHARLOTTE
(rolling her eyes)
Oh, brother.
KATHY
So, naturally, he was willing to
tell me a few things.
CHARLOTTE
Oh?… Like what?
KATHY
Well, for starters.. He told me
that he didn’t have much use for
the attorney/client privilege once
he found out that he was going
to die… You, of course, being the
client.
CHARLOTTE
He what?!
KATHY
Yeah, that’s right, Char…
He told me quite a few things
after he learned of his fate…
Some that were extremely
interesting, you might say…
CHARLOTTE
(extended pause)
Like?
The noose is tighter still…
KATHY
Like those offshore accounts he
helped you set up… And the wire
transfers that he conducted on
your behalf… Sound familiar?
CHARLOTTE
Oh.. my.. God.
KATHY
He also recommended that I
hire a private detective….
And I’ll bet you can guess
what his name was!
CHARLOTTE
Anton Khudobin.
KATHY
Bingo.
Kathy leans forward in the
chair and glares at Charlotte.
KATHY
I’ve been having you followed
for two years now…