45
Continued from previous page…
CHARLOTTE
(at Belinda)
What did you say to her?
SUSANNA
She said I looked
like a grease monkey!!
CHARLOTTE
Huhh!!
Belinda, you didn’t?!
BELINDA
I didn’t say it like that.
CHARLOTTE
Belinda, that’s the
meanest thing a girl
can say to another girl.
GINA
That’s the meanest? …
I hate to say it, Charlotte,
but it’s plain to see you’ve
never heard any of my
arguments with Eleanor Schninkel
back in the eighth grade.
JANE
(inquiring)
Nasty, was she?
GINA
No— I was.
JANE
(deadpans)
Oh, sure.
CHARLOTTE
(at Belinda)
I want you to say
you’re sorry to her.
BELINDA
She started it!
You have no idea
what she’s been saying.
CHARLOTTE
I don’t care.
I’m ending it. Say you’re
sorry to her right now.
BELINDA
(begrudgingly)
I’m sorry, Susanna.
SUSANNA
(gloating)
That’s better…
Apology accepted.
CHARLOTTE
Good— that’s settled…
Now… I have to get back
to my meeting… Don’t
make me come back in
here again… TRY and
get along… Can you do that?
Charlotte exits.
KATHY
Okay, Susanna, that’s it.
She’s gone now.
You can leave.
BELINDA
Yeah, beat it, Susanna…
And take that Canadian Goose
you got stuck in your
throat with you.
Susanna turns
to leave.
SUSANNA
Fine! I’ll leave! …
But you remember one
thing, Belinda… I’ll get
even with you if it’s the last
thing I ever do… I’m going
to spread it all over town
that your armpits smell.
BELINDA
You wouldn’t dare.
SUSANNA
Oh, wouldn’t I?
You just try me…
And that goes for the
rest of you too…
You’d better watch your
backs from now on!
Gina has opened
up the front door
so that Susanna
can go storming
out of the house
with her little fists
clenched. Gina throws
the door shut as if
to say “good riddance.”
Audience applause.
KATHY
Whew!!
What do you
make of that?!
JANE
That was crazy!
The nerve of her!
GINA
What do we do now?
BELINDA
Well, for starters,
I think I’d better go
shopping for some
new deodorant.
There was a slight pause after Belinda’s last line as everyone waited for the audience’s laughter to subside and the cue to exhale. After Paul yelled “cut,” into his megaphone, he also called out, “Nice going, Susanna, good job!”
Susanna emerged from around the corner, flashing her now famous grin, and entered the “fake” living room to a smattering of applause from the crew— And then a much more robust applause from the studio audience. It was quite a performance. She did a little curtsey for everyone, then made her way directly over to Paul to see what he thought. Aside from the bloopers that were not mentioned, all of the takes went really well. Paul was more than satisfied.
“That was great, Susanna. You handled that like a real pro,” he commended.
“Oh, thank you… I’m so glad to hear you say that,” she returned, with a much needed sigh of relief.
“We’ll go over a couple more things again, but I promise you— we won’t make you do that crying part again… One time is enough for that, don’t you think?” he assured her.
“Oh, good,” said Susanna, relieved. “I was hoping you’d say that… That really hurt my throat.”
“Oh, God, I can just imagine… Well.. you go ahead and get yourself a drink of water and relax for a bit,” said Paul. “We won’t be ready to go for a while.”
As Susanna turned to walk away, she was immediately greeted by Belinda, who almost ran right into her. As soon as they made eye contact, they both let out one of those teenage, girly screams and hugged each other.
“Omigod, that was fantastic!!” exclaimed Belinda. “You did SOO good!”
“Uhhh, I was so nervous! I’m surprised I could get any of the words out! I don’t know how you do this week after week,” said Susanna.
“Oh, you get used to it,” Belinda came back with. “After a while, you don’t even notice the audience is there.”
“That script was pretty brutal. I actually felt horrible saying those things to you. For some reason, it was way different than rehearsal. It actually felt kinda’ real,” confessed Susanna.
“Ha-ha, yeah, it gets like that sometimes,” said Belinda. “Sometimes you get lost in what you’re doing.”
Susanna was now greeted by the other girls in what turned out to be one, gigantic, hug-and-kissy fest, followed by a trip backstage to help themselves to the bountiful buffet that was laid out for everyone.
In a somewhat sad state of irony, however, much of what was accomplished on this day would all go for naught. As it turned out, shortly after this sequence was filmed, Charlotte and one of the staff songwriters would co-write “Mad About You” together, which would go on to become the Go-Go’s next big, hit single— therefore nullifying the relevance of much of the scene and the dialogue.
But, the producers still desperately wanted Susanna on the show. In response to the success of the song, she was later asked to come back in September and do a complete makeover of the entire scene. Barely able to fit that into her schedule, Susanna made a triumphant return and the scene was rewritten and reshot. Unfortunately, the spontaneity and timing that inspired the original script was difficult to recapture. Much of the magic had vanished. It was a damn shame, too, because everybody loved the original version and it was heartbreaking to see all of that quality work be scrapped.
That cassette, however, was destined to be stored away in the vaults at CBS, never to be seen from again for the remainder of all time. Only studio employees and insiders who had access to the keys of the vault would get the opportunity to catch a glimpse of it. Even the Go-Go’s themselves never got the opportunity to view the original copy.
If there were a trade-off to be made, however, the Go-Go’s alternative as a band would be an easy decision to make. They would gladly take a hit single over a particular scene from their T.V. show any day of the week, to be sure. THAT was a no-brainer.
But— It was still a bummer.
As artists, they tended to be perfectionists and absolutely hated it when anything went wrong. Especially when it came to seeing disappointed looks on the faces of their co-workers. They were simply experiencing something that was all too common in the workplace.
Sometimes life just sucks.