39
Continued from previous page…
BELINDA
Gina, I wouldn’t get too
excited about the parties.
GINA
Are you kidding?
Why not?
BELINDA
Because I don’t know if
that’s what it’s intended
for. I don’t know if that’s
what Charlotte has in mind.
GINA
Whoa, whoa, you guys are
getting old on me way too quick.
What the hell else are we supposed
to do with some.. seventy, fucking
acres of land? Go there just to relax?
Come on, man, we’re gonna put the
Playboy Mansion to shame… And you
gotta’ quit being so afraid of Charlotte.
We don’t have to kiss her ass that much.
I don’t care what she does for us.
BELINDA
Okay, okay, I’m just saying…
Let’s wait and see, that’s all.
I’m sure there will be plenty
of parties… We won’t know for
a long time, anyway… Maybe
we’ll all be too mature for
that when the time comes.
GINA
Yeah, right— and maybe
monkeys might fly out
of my butt.
KATHY
Did you hear
about our rooms?
BELINDA
No.. she started to tell me
once but we got cut off.
KATHY
Check this out… Supposedly..
we’re gonna have our names
carved out in big letters above
the door for each one of us.
There’s only gonna be five bedrooms
in the whole place… and we each
get one with our names on it.
What do you think?
BELINDA
(not sure)
Ehh, I don’t know…
I think that sounds tacky.
KATHY
Oh, no, I think it’s cool…
It’s like— majestic— Ya’ know?
Like we’re really important…
It makes us seem like
we’re bigger than life.
BELINDA
I don’t know… It’s okay, I guess.
We’re not gonna spend that much
time there anyway, so I guess I
can deal with it.
GINA
It doesn’t matter, anyway.
The whole thing is satire.
KATHY
(baffled)
What?
GINA
It’s satire. The whole place is
symbolic of the wretched excess
of entertainers like us in a
capitalistic society. So, it doesn’t
matter if we have our names above
the door. It’s all part of the illusion.
We’re merely spoofing ourselves.
Kathy and Belinda
look at each other
in disbelief.
KATHY
Where in the HELL
did you get that from?!
GINA
From Animal Farm. I remembered
certain parts. Then I rehearsed
some of it so I could use it when
the time was right. I did good, right?
Gina has successfully
accomplished her goal
of entertaining her two
friends.
KATHY
Gina, you’re a fucking riot.
Did anyone ever tell you that?
I can see why the fans love
you on the show.
GINA
Well, forget all that shit.
I like the idea, anyway.
It’s original. That’s what
I mostly like about it.
KATHY
That’s true, it is original.
You gotta’ admit that.
GINA
I just can’t believe she’s
putting so much thought
into all of this. Ya’ know?
BELINDA
I know, I can’t figure that
out, either. Sometimes
I think she’s doing it for
some kind of therapy or
something.
KATHY
Ya’ know, that might be it.
She’s trying to over-compensate
or something like that.. She’s trying
to make up for something—
Like she feels like she’s done
something wrong and she’s
trying to make up for it.
BELINDA
I think that’s what
they teach you in A.A.
KATHY
Well, I remember how she
was when I first met her—
All strung-out and shit…
And then, BAM! She turned it
all around— just like that.
Maybe this is what her shrink
told her she should be doing.
GINA
Oh, that’s bullshit. Her shrink
didn’t teach her how to be a
good investor. She learned all
that on her own. What she’s
doing now is something she
wants to do… She loves it…
And she loves us…
That’s why she does it.
BELINDA
That’s true… He couldn’t possibly
have taught her how to have good
business instincts.
KATHY
(shrugging)
I guess.
BELINDA
But.. maybe he suggested that
she should lord over us as
some kind of therapy?
KATHY
(startled)
Ya’ know.. it’s amazing that you
just said that. I was just thinking
about that the other day.
GINA
What?
KATHY
(pauses)
Have you guys noticed that
she.. sort of… acts like
our mom?
They all laugh
and agree with
that notion.
KATHY
I mean— am I right?
She literally acts like our mom!
And we all accept it !!
It’s like— we all like it or
something… Even on the show..
They portray her like…
like she’s our mom!
And I’m thinkin’ to myself…
How do they know this?!!
How do the writers know?!
Gina and Belinda
are cracking up.
GINA
(laughing)
I almost called her
that the other day.
KATHY
What?
GINA
Mom!!
BELINDA
(laughing and coughing)
Are you kidding?
GINA
No! She was telling me to
clean up some shit in
the corner of her office,
and I was like— “Okay, Mom.”
BELINDA
In her office?
GINA
Yeah, in HER office!!
I mean, it wasn’t anything
much— just some stacks of
folders.. and some old
newspapers and shit… but I
was like, “Man, are you
kidding me? Okay, Mom!”
KATHY
And it’s the way she tells
you to do something, too…
(laughter subsiding)
… Well, I’ll tell ya’ what…
I’m glad that she does it.
BELINDA
Does what?
KATHY
Acts like that.
BELINDA
Oh, come on…
I’ve already got a mom.
KATHY
No, I’m serious. I think we’d
all be fucked up if it wasn’t for her…
I mean— look at the three of us right now.
We’re just sitting here getting caked
in the middle of the afternoon… And
she’s out there gettin’ shit done.
BELINDA
No way… You’re giving
her way too much credit.
KATHY
Am I?
BELINDA
Yeah… I’d be fucked up
with or without her.