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Continued from page 138…
Thursday, October 9th, 1986, 2:32 P.M.
“Will you guys quit making jokes,” said Suffy, referring to the hypnotist that she personally recommended. “He’s not that bad.. Geez, you guys have been on that sitcom for so long, it’s like you’re infected.”
Kathy could never resist when she heard an opening such as this. Suffy’s comment immediately triggered the appropriate response in her. She couldn’t help but think about one of her favorite, childhood sitcoms.
Given the situation, it was time to imitate Beaver Cleaver. She raised her voice in a childlike way and started in with the routine.
“Uhh, I don’t think we’re always makin’ jokes… What do you think, Wally?”
Charlotte and Suffy instantly burst into laughter. The question was directed at her fellow co-star of their prime-time laugh-fest, so Charlotte decided to indulge Kathy and play along.
“Aww, cut it out, Beav.. Quit talkin’ junk like that,” said Charlotte, imitating the older brother.
“Well, I don’t wanna get hollered at… on account a, on account a.. I think Mom and Dad would be pretty sore if they knew we were havin’ a coke party in the living room,” responded Kathy.
“Heck, Beav, I don’t think there’s any coke left.. I mean, look at Leilani— She’s dancin’ around like she’s got ants in her pants.. I think she snorted it all.”
Suffy had now dropped to her knees and was sucking in air like she had asthma or some other respiratory condition. She hadn’t laughed this hard in a long time. Charlotte and Kathy had successfully accomplished their mission with their little stage presentation. After all, it’s always fun to make someone laugh so hard that they can’t breathe. It’s a natural instinct. Perhaps their time spent on television had indeed rubbed-off. Unfortunately, their show on prime-time CBS would not allow them to perform dialogue that included jokes about narcotics usage.
“Stop it.. stop it,” begged Suffy as she tried to catch her breath. “You guys are killing me.” Suffy was now starting to draw attention from the rest of the party guests. They were looking over and beginning to wonder what all the commotion was about. On the other hand, it was only natural to look over at Suffy at a time like this. Her laugh could summon crows down from the neighboring telephone lines.
“You guys are too much,” said Suffy as she rose to her feet. “I can’t believe your show ever gets a bad review… They should let you say stuff like that.”
“Yeah, why do we always get bad reviews?” wondered Charlotte.
“I don’t know,” answered Kathy. “We put out some quality stuff… The episode where Gina got toenail fungus. That was highbrow material.”
As Charlotte chuckled away at Kathy’s last remark, she suddenly felt something tug on her scalp from behind.
Party time was over.
She could feel one of her turns coming on.
Charlotte sat down in one of the chairs and buried her face in her hands. She wanted to cry from anguish, but she couldn’t. Electric arrows shot across her eyes and harmonic echoes rang in her ears. Her right knee started tapping up and down. Somehow, she managed to rise up and ask Kathy and Suffy for assistance.
“Where’s the master bedroom?” she asked.
“It’s right behind you on the right,” said Suffy as she pointed in the proper direction.
“Are you alright?” asked Kathy.
“No, I’m not… I need to lie down,” explained Charlotte.
Kathy and Suffy led Charlotte down the mini hallway and into the suite’s master bedroom. They closed the door behind them as Charlotte stretched out on the bed. Kathy was visibly upset and concerned.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” she asked again. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”
Charlotte waved off that suggestion.
“She doesn’t need to go to the hospital,” informed Suffy. “She’s having one of her episodes.”
Charlotte looked up from her pillow as Kathy stared over at Suffy with her mouth starting to drop open. Something was amiss. Suffy’s entire demeanor was beginning to transform itself. Her face was now completely devoid of emotion.
“Suffy, what are you talking about?” asked Charlotte, her voice just above a whisper. “I’d like to go home, please.”
“You’re not leaving,” stated Suffy.
Kathy felt chills race up through her body in a way she’d never experienced before. It was right out of a horror movie. In a millisecond, she began fantasizing that Suffy was the demon that she often professed to be, and was going to kill both of them.
“You’re not going anywhere,” said Suffy in a smooth, monotonous tone. As she said it, she turned to lock the door in a symbolic move of entrapment. Her two victims were now locked in. Kathy was so scared, she nearly vomited on the spot.
“OH, MY GOD, SHE IS A WITCH!!!” screamed Kathy as she cowered into the corner of the room. “Suffy, please, don’t hurt me.. please? .. I’ll do anything.. I’ll polish your broomstick.. I’ll clean your caldron…
“Kathy, relax! I’m not going to hurt you… I’m not going to hurt either one of you,” said Suffy.
Charlotte was also panting rather heavily, as she stared down Suffy with steely determination. She was somewhat petrified as well, but wasn’t about to let this woman get the best of her. She decided to fabricate a claim.
“Suffy… I got a gun in my purse… If you don’t let me outta’ here, I swear…”
“Those bullets won’t do you any good, Missy… Not against me, they won’t.”
“OH, MY GOD, SHE’S A WEREWOLF TOO!!!” Kathy screamed-out again.
“Kathy, will you calm down!!” Suffy yelled back. “I’m not a werewolf!! … Although.. I do plenty of wolfin’ around in the nighttime, if ya’ know what I mean, hahahaha!!
Suffy proceeded to let out her trademark cackle as Charlotte and Kathy now began to look confused. Was she putting them on?
“Oh, so, now you’re making jokes?” asked Kathy. “I thought that was my job?”
Suffy continued to laugh hysterically as she realized she had gotten the best of her two, famous cohorts. “You should have seen the looks on your faces,” she continued. “Kathy… You thought I was a werewolf, hahahaha.”
“Well.. I didn’t really.. think..” Kathy could not finish her sentence. She had been rendered speechless with embarrassment.
“Suffy, why would you do that?” asked Charlotte. “That is so uncool… That’s a mean thing to do.”
“I’m sorry… I don’t know why I did that,” said Suffy as her laughter died down. “Something just came over me.”
Charlotte and Kathy looked at each other, not sure if they should accept Suffy’s apology so easily.
But, Insufferable was not done spooking them just yet. It was time to reveal her true intentions. She had suspected something was wrong with Charlotte for quite a while now and it was time to put her intuitions to the test. It was part of the reason she purposely scared them in the first place.
“Much like the other personality that comes over you sometimes, Char,” she said matter-of-factly.
Charlotte and Kathy were again stunned into silence. They were already at a loss for words, but now their mouths were hanging open wondering how in the hell Suffy knew this information regarding Charlotte’s condition. Charlotte could only come to one conclusion—
“Kathy!! What did you say to her?!”
“I didn’t say anything!!” defended Kathy. “I don’t know how she found out!”
“Kathy didn’t tell me,” Suffy said calmly.
Charlotte was naturally intrigued, but also irritated. She felt lucky that her episode of transference was brief, but hated the fact that she had to deal with it at any time at all. Now she had something else to deal with— An outside source knew about her condition.
“Then how do you know?” she asked.
“You underestimate me… I thought you knew me bettah’ than that,” answered Suffy. Although she had lived in California for some time now, her east-coast accent still rose to the top on occasion.
“Oh, so, now we’re back to you being a witch again?” asked Charlotte, testily.
Suffy stared back at Charlotte and decided not to say a word. All of this back-and-forth was starting to become futile and exhausting. It was time to wrap-up this current conversation and take it to the next level. Suffy folded her arms, adjusted her stance, and offered a proposal—
“Kathy, can I speak to Charlotte alone?” she asked.
Kathy’s feelings were tested.
“Why can’t I stay?” she asked, looking back and forth. “I need to know how she found out.”
“Charlotte will tell you all about it after we’re done,” explained Suffy. “But I need to talk to her alone, first… I’d feel more comfortable that way.”
Charlotte nodded, then looked at Kathy and motioned with her head towards the door. “Go ahead, Kath,” she said. “We won’t be long… Then we can go.. I know you wanna go home.”
Kathy said nothing. She glared at both of them alternatively as she headed towards the door. As she opened the door to leave, she turned around and opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind. What she wanted to say was too involved, as she decided it could wait until later.
After Kathy exited, the two remaining women looked at each other for several seconds before Charlotte spoke up. It was time to get to the bottom of things.
“Alright, Suffy… What’s this all about?”